My own worst enemy

I have been going to the gym now for a good 2 months.  I have lost 5 lbs since January.  Out of context this seems great.. but guys.. its APRIL! Even if I only lost a pound a week, I should be down about 15 lbs.  I have really been struggling with this lately but I can't beat myself up about it.  I am eating the best I have ever eaten.  I finally feel ok with eating very little processed foods.  My daily diet consists mostly of : almonds, eggs, greek yogurt, chicken, tilapia, broccoli, salad, whole grain bread and peanut butter.  I'm learning to like other things like hummus, and chickpeas.  We eat more beans and brown rice.  I bake or pan sear nearly everything and only treat us to a "fried" food occasionally.  Even the kids are adapting.  They are eating fruit, popcorn,  and homemade granola bars for snacks, I hardly buy packaged snacks and stopped buying chips.  I make homemade tortilla chips baked in the oven instead and my oldest LOVES them.  I know its time to get groceries when the refrigerator is getting empty.

After meeting with the personal trainer, I have been trying to incorporate more weights with my exercises but for the last month, the scale hasn't budged.  I began researching and realized that likely my 1400 calorie diet was too LOW.  It seems odd, but I needed to increase how much I was eating in order to jump start my weight loss again.  I am still in trial mode as I only began this a week ago.  Although the scale isn't moving, it hasn't fluctuated up either so this keeps me hopeful.  Like I had said this was really dragging me down.  It is so frustrating to watch your husband literally decrease his food intake and start dropping pounds every day.  I have to keep going to the gym even when I don't feel like it.  I did have my body fat percentage evaluated though and I have lost between 3-5% body fat so that makes me want to keep chugging along also.

Today for example, I was going to skip it.  I was tired, had a headache and just was feeling down.  Right before I went to pick my son up from school, I told myself , "Who am I kidding? Jessica, get off your butt and go to the gym."  So I did.  After picking him up from school, off we went.  While I was warming up on the treadmill, a couple moms from the school showed up and they invited me to come lift with them.  I thought sure.. why not.  She set up a circuit training routine and said we were going to do 4 sets.  When I got off the couch today.. I had no idea this was in store for me.  This was THE hardest workout I have ever done.  I burned more calories in that hour than I ever have before.  It was so hard but I am so glad I got up and went today.  It looks like I now have my own personal trainer and workout partner.  She invited me to join her anytime she was there and gave me her schedule.

I really hope this is what I need.  I realized today that maybe I just wasn't doing enough or pushing myself hard enough and I just need to keep doing it and keep being patient.  In time the weight will come off, for now I am enjoying my victory of defeat over the old me and becoming friends with the new one.