Milestones

It seems every year we are approached with a new set of detours and roadblocks.  Whether it is babies, moving, job loss and changes, it seems every year we were presented with something else.  This year was no different.  The setbacks thrown at us this year were unexpected to say the least, and at first they were very unwelcome. 

I usually see myself as a person who can handle a difficult situation and accomplish whatever is needed to get done and move on.  This time I found it more difficult.  I found myself questioning my roles as a parent, wife, daughter, sister.  I questioned the decisions I have made in my life and wondered if I had made the right decisions along the way.  I wished I had taken different paths at times, I was more emotional than I think I had been in my life. I felt more alone than ever before, farther away from the people that were important to me.

So I decided I needed to try looking at things through rose colored glasses.  Maybe this was going to be better.  Maybe the life we had was toxic, maybe it was sucking the life out of us as a family.  Lots of people said maybe it was a blessing in disguise.  Whatever the case, we needed to make the best of the situation.

So here we are.  After visiting Middleton over the 4th of July, we had our minds made up that this is what we wanted.  We wanted to raise our kids in a little simpler town, with a little less hustle and bustle.  We both grew up in small towns, we both miss the closeness of it.  Meridian was voted many times over for being an "ideal" place to raise a family, but I don't think it was ideal for us.  There was too much competing with the neighbors, and friends.  Not feeling as worthy because our house wasn't the biggest, or that it wasn't ours period. 

Here are just a few things I have already determined that I love about small-town life.

- Ridley's.  I love running to "town" to grab something at the supermarket and recognizing the cashier every time.  It reminds me of the days mom and I would go to Doug's IGA.

-Driving through the neighborhood and having people we don't know and kids we have never seen, wave to us.

-Going to local events and realizing most of these people know each other.

-Horses EVERYWHERE.  All kinds, Quarter, miniature, Mules, English, Western.  The whole town is covered in horses.

-minimal stop lights.  I haven't counted but I don't think there are many, if any, in Middleton.

We have only been here a week and already I feel the stress melting away.  We are mostly moved in, the kids are meeting new friends, we are finding things to do locally instead of running all over the place all the time.  I think it will take some adjusting to and realizing you can't just go to town anytime you feel like it.  But I like that.  I think in the long run it will be a good thing for us.  We all needed a new and fresh start.

The Silver Lining of my Rain Cloud

With all that is going on in life lately, you would think I would have a ton to write about, but instead it is the opposite, I cannot think of what to write.  It's quite possible that lately, not much has been going well and I don't feel like reflecting or bitching about how my life seems to suck lately and things just aren't fair.  Inside I am a screaming two year-old throwing that kind of tantrum that embarasses the parent, the checkout girl, the other patrons and the siblings of the one throwing the tantrum.  I tend to wear my emotions on my shirt sleeve and it's hard to put on the game face.  So yes, I will admit that things aren't so great now, and I don't always cope so well, but, I am trying to take the time to reflect on what is going right in my little chaotic mess of a world and when I look hard enough I can find some good.

Among these would be:
-My 5 children.  They drive me absolutely batty all the time, and I don't realize it all the time.. but snuggling with my oldest watching a movie, having a tickle fest with the second, a sweet kiss from the third, the HILARIOUS things my son says, and the grins and dimples of my precious baby.  There is nothing that compares.
-My husband. All odds against us, we have conquered a lot. I think we make a good team.

-Having a job.  I don't like my job, but like people keep reminding me... at least I have one.
-My family.  They are thousands of miles away, but always there if I need them.
-Being able to experience the awesomeness of this state.  If only we had gotten here a little sooner.
-My friends.  I admit, I have very few people I can call a great friend.  But the few I have managed to keep over the years and miles, are all I really need.
-My health and mind.  I may not be slim and trim, but i'm relatively healthy and thankful I have the ability to use my mind and am able to keep learning every day.

I know some of these are so cliche.  But these are THE things that keep me going daily.  If not for the kids and my husband? What would I be dreaming for?  Why would my desire to keep working matter, who would I be providing for?  I wouldn't be where I am today without my family and Brent's family.  If we weren't in Idaho, we would be in hell #1, Wyoming, or hell #2, Nebraska still.  My friends! They listen to me even if I know they probably don't care, they still listen to me vent.

I like to hope that things will get better soon, that things could always be a heck of a lot worse.  We aren't rich, but are surrounded with other riches that cannot be bought or have a value placed on it.

Cowpies and Bird shit

I thought once school ended I would have more "free time", but that does not seem to be the case.  It seems each waking minute of every day is filled with something.  The kids of course want to do things now that school is out, and the last two weeks for me have been spent looking for another rental close to the kids school so they won't have to change too many things at once.  Then there is the usual, laundry, dishes, cleaning, more laundry, yard work, errands, paying bills, and then work on top of that.  I guess when you have "free" time it is easy to find stuff to fill it with.

Today was not a very successful day in the kitchen.  A couple of weeks ago I made some banana bread and it was not too bad but the sides and bottom were over done.  So I did some research and asked around and thought maybe a silicone pan would work better.  I went and bought two silicone loaf pans, made it up and put it in for 15 min less that the recommended time.  Sure enough it was burn on the bottom.. again, even more than before.  I dont think it was the pans fault.  I think I should have shortened the time and the temp a little since the recipe called for a bundt pan and all I had were loaf pans. 

I then went to make these Malted Milk Cookies for dessert, and the recipe seemed simple enough.  the dough tasted fabulous.  So I plopped the cookies down and what came out of the oven after only 8 minutes (recipe calls for at least 10) was not as the picture shows.  My husband lovingly said, and I quote, they looked like "cow patties with bird shit on them".  Um yeah, he was actually kinda right.  The cookies caramalized and readily outgrew the pan they were on running into each other and dripping to the bottom of the oven causing a nice charred stench in the house. I can honestly say that I have never been so traumatized by having a food failure as I was today.

For dinner I made the Panko Mozzarella Sticks again and the were fine, we had fresh salad with lettuce from our CSA farmer, Urban Green Harvest , and Brent made a tenderloin from naturally and humanely raised pork from The Princess Farmer that we picked up from the co-op last week.  It was a really good dinner.  That sort of makes up for the horrible cookies even though I have a feeling I won't live it down.  I still have no idea why they did not cook properly.

Tonight marks my beginning of an experimental adventure.  I decided to take on another job working for the Idaho Statesman delivering papers. Only time will tell what will happen or how it will all work out.  All I know for now is 2 am comes really early and I'm scared to death I'm going to piss some grandma off because I didn't put her paper where it was supposed to go, or someones paper got hit with a sprinkler and got soaked.  Working 2 jobs might seem like a lot but like I said, it's an experiment. 

We will be moving to our new place in about a month.  I decided I am going to have another garage sale so during the day I am going through and finding anything I possible can to put out there.  This year has surely been a rollercoaster with its ups and downs, in a way a bit like my cookies.  It sounds like it should be fabulous, but when you take a bite its all one big mess.

Move over Betty Crocker....

Well... not really, but I do think she would be impressed that is.  Thanks to my new BFF's Alton Brown and The Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond, my culinary experiences are leaning more towards the impressive side and less towards the "its edible but...." side. 

I am actually excited aobut learning to  make new things.  I have been spending too many hours perusing recipes and techniques, but like my favorite phrase of all time... knowledge is power.  Cooking really is an art, and I believe that all artists need to be passionate about their craft.  The closest experience I have had to passion about food is savoring it as it enters my mouth.  My long standing love affair with food is not an unknown fact,  my waistline can prove that.  Until now though, the actual thought of crafting something that is beautiful and delicious, never really seemed that interesting to me.  Thanks to network TV and thinks like Altons lovely scientific show Good Eats that caters specifically to my inner science geek, creating delicious meals is suddenly now more appealing and after a few rounds in the kitchen, I realize I CAN cook.

As I have mentioned before.. for all my good creations, there are bad ones.  So I'll begin there.  Who knew no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies would be a huge DESERT FAIL.  Yep, I goofed those up.. instead of firm mounds of chocolately goodness with a hint of peanut buttery flavor I ended up with a giant glob of gleatenous goo.  Sure it tasted ok , but after I plated it up (fancy cooking terms for you wanna-be-chefs) it fused into one giant oatmeal cookie that never firmed up!  I didn't feel the need to archive my catostrophic attempt.

Next fail, and I was not surprised, was my bread.  The bread I have eaten often at my kids preschool and had to borrow the recipe.  I ended up with about 8 mini loaves and 2 large loaves of dense, un-risen yeast bread.  Well, it rose halfway but almost only counts in horseshoes and honey we aren't playing picnic games here.  After talking to many, bread takes time and practice.. two things I have very little of, but I am determined to make it work.

Now for successes! I can now roast a chicken.  Yep you heard me, I had never roasted a chicken til about 2 weeks ago and it turned out great.. Rosmary and thyme chicken stuffed with garlic and  lemon.  It was soo good even the kids gobbled it up.  Brent is a little weary of  food that too much resembles its former life, but he might have to get over that.  It was just too easy and so versitile! (insert picture of roasted chicken that my budding photographer husband did not think was good enough to keep)

Next up.. Alton Browns Baked Macaroni and Cheese sans the onions and voila, instant success.  Super easy and after 2 meals the whole dish was consumed!

The day before I made some of Ree's Restaraunt-style Salsa.  I am super picky about my Salsa, but this turned out very good! It has been requested that I spice it up a bit more next time.  I can hardly wait to make it again.

Then I made her Panko-breaded Mozzarella Sticks.  Had these not been paired with the super cheesy dish above, they probably would have been a bigger hit.. Natalie loved them! 

 

Next I will attempt some Flank steak and Roasted Carrots.  I also plan on attempting homemade bread.. again, if only it would rise.

A is for Awesome

Thats right.. A is for, I am Awesome cause I got an A in both my Physical Geography and Art History II class.  This was my ultimate goal this semester.  I made B's last semester but knew I could do better so I gave it my all.  I wish I had been this dedicated when I was in college before.  Who knows what I might be doing today had I applied myself like I do now.  All that being said.. I loved both classes.  I learned far more in Art History than I even imagined was possible, partly due to my instructors passion for the subject.  The fact that she was a Biology Major first, gave me a sense of connection with her I think.

So, now that summer (for me) has officially begun, I really need to make plans for me and for the kids.  I am more relaxed about the pending move than I was before.  I'm not nearly as angry as I was even though I still don't like it.  Brent and I are really getting our act together so within the next year we can buy a house.  I am more than ready to settle down.

There are so many things I want to do.  I definately want to spend time with the kids.  I want to hike more, work less, sew again, and get organized.  Taylor wants me to teach her how to sew so I think that is something I will work on.  I need to get the kids involved in some activities and sports and I really want to do some swimming too.  Oh yeah, I am also going to improve on my cooking skills, which, I might say, have improved over the last couple of months.  We have tried a few new things, we have a larger variety of menu items to choose from and for dinners we eat more vegetables than before.  Tomorrow I am going to make a chicken.  I have never bought chicken as a whole before, its always been boneless, skinless breasts.  However when I realized how much a free range chicken is compared to the breasts, I quickly see the savings by using the whole bird.

I am going to try and update this more frequently now that I don't have classes.  I just want to keep it interesting.  I hope this summer will bring lots of discoveries and adventures.