Ever since I was very young, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I think most girls want to be a mother at some point in their life. Nearly 10 years ago when I first found out that this would be a reality I don't think I knew what I was getting myself into. My oldest is almost 10 and my baby will be one this week. I have learned so much in these 10 years, yet there are days when I don't feel like I know anything about raising children. Today was one of those days.
I feel very fortunate that my husband is as active in parenting this circus as I am and when I am having a rough day, I usually run to him. I have never seen myself as a very good "girl" mom. I admit I wanted boys first and when I ended up with 3 girls before having my boys I wondered what I had I done to deserve this. Don't get me wrong I love my girls, I just don't know how to relate to them.
Girls are emotional, boys are rowdy. Boys will just jump around while the girls will cry. With the little guys I just need to redirect them, no mind games, no persuasion, just redirect the energy elsewhere. I like to think that it is way to early for hormones to kick in but I fear it might not be the case. Sometimes my oldest will cry, and its the same kind of crying I would do when in a funk. My husband claims she is my mini-me, my clone, and I cannot disagree as much as I would like to. The thing is I don't even know how to deal with myself, how can I deal with her?
Raising girls, actually children in general, is tough in this world. It is a scary, scary thing. I might not be the mom that played dress up with my girls and cringe when they want their nails painted or their hair put up. And I feel more comfortable outside playing ball with them and getting dirty than putting on lipgloss, but I hope I am a good role model for them and they see me as a good mother that loved them nonetheless. I hope to gain the courage to deal with the tough subjects that are just around the corner and that they can come to me or their father with any problem they may have. What more can we ask for in this society?
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