I don’t know how you do it.

I hear this phrase literally every single day.  And to be honest, there are many, many different answers.  Here are a few of my most popular ones:

• I don’t know either.
• You just do.
• I don’t have a choice.
• It isn’t that hard.
• and my favorite is just a shrug of the shoulders

In all reality, most of the time I feel like the correct answer would be “I don’t.”  I’m not saying that I don’t take care of the important things, but there are times when I feel like I don’t do what I should be doing.  Ignoring the obvious priorities, letting the TV become a “babysitter” because I am just too tired.  There are times I question my worthiness of being a parent, worrying that I have become selfish and let my own wants come before the needs of my children.    Then I realize that I am doing the best I can at this moment in time. 

I feel like I had a hard time adjusting to my fast-paced growing family.  It was like wham, wham , wham.. one kid after another and I just wasn’t keeping up.  Some days it was pure survival.  But we have made it so far.  We have conquered the terrible twos, 4 times in fact!  Successfully potty trained 4 as well.  Juggled work and school and kids and sports and afterschool activities.  Made it through 5 moves with a various number of children.  Bought a house, sold a house, cleaned up permanent marker off brand new carpet. Taught 3 of them to ride a  bike.  I've been embarrassed in stores, puked on, pooped, on, peed on. I’ve kissed boo-boos, cleaned scraped knees, held and rocked colicky babies.  Had many sleepless nights, and napped with tired toddlers.  When I think back to all of this, I realize that when presented with all these challenges and blessings.. you just go with the flow as they say. 

I think my biggest accomplishment from this so far is I have come out on top with my head still intact and screwed on straight.  I don’t need anxiety pills, or sleeping pills, no anti-depressants, no drugs (not counting caffeine).  For the most part I feel like I am fairly well-adjusted and all I can hope for is that someday, my kids will look back and not remember the times I told them to wait a minute, only for me to forget.  Or not hearing them talk to me when I am consumed on the computer or taking a test. I’m sure there will be a day that I may forget to pick someone up from school or practice.  I just hope they see that I did what I could and that it was enough.  That they too will come out as well adjusted adults.  I think this is what we all hope for and I feel like so far we are on the right track even with the imperfections.