I often try and think back to when I was a kid and how I percieved my parents as "grown-ups". I mean my mother was 27 when I was born. I always thought it was nice having a "young" mom. We did a lot of active things together and I knew a lot of people that had older parents that just weren't as involved in their kids lives. I never really thought my parents were old, or not understanding because they came from a different time. We played kick-ball, I listened to 50's, 60's and 70's music with my dad while he worked on cars in the garage. I used to skate it out to Xanadu. Anyways, I have been trying to figure out when exactly I started feeling like a grown up.
I'll admit, I don't really like the responsibilities of it all the time, and I wonder why the hell we hurried life up when we were kids always saying "I can't wait to grow up." Now I'm singing "If I Could Turn Back Time". Kids today are in even more of a hurry to grow up and it makes me really sad. Doing things that I didn't even know about until I was a teenager, having cell phones, exposure to some pretty mature content on regular TV. Hell even the news is pretty horrible anymore.
I've caught myself really hating the decisions we have been faced with, the realities of things that are going on. I honestly think that we have done more growing up in the last 2 years due to life experiences. Just these last 2 weeks we were faced with some pretty hard decisions. I will honestly say they were some of the hardest I have had to make. It was a turning point for me and how I percieve my own maturity. I know how I may have reacted in the past and this time it was a different outcome. I won't lie.. I screamed, I cried, I resisted, I revisited option after option and the ending result is not my ideal situation.. BUT it is the right decision for my family. I know this all seems a little vague, but it is a little pre-mature to discuss details but I will reveal when its all over.
My whole point is, do we ever like having to accept the responsibility of having to make decisions? They say you are only as old as you feel. Mentally I don't feel old, and a lot of times I don't feel like I should have to make big decisions, that they should be left up to more mature people. Maybe because I know that in the past I have made poor decisions. I fear of making the wrong ones and try to avoid the hard things in life. I have learned that only makes it worse. I feel good with the decision we came to and know it was the right one with no doubt. It was like the moment we decided what we should do, a huge weight was lifted off of me. I want to thank my friends that have supported me as we have gone through this, I know I have driven some crazy, but I am so thankful for them being there when I need to vent.
As for all my other stuff going on.. kids are out of school for 2 days, and I wanted to take them swimming but the boys are sick, Gavin with a fever and Spencer is coughing so I imagine we will just be homebound. I still havn't weighed. I need to paint my toenails (maybe tomorrow?) so I can take a picture for Sara's super awesome fitness challenge :) (we have to take a pic of us on the scale each week and I think I still have polish left over from summer on). I am totally unmotivated in the kitchen however I have an itch to get organized. Im sure I know where that energy is coming from. I got a cricut Expression machine super-de-duper cheap and have been trying to get my crafty on. Uh oh.. I just said "super-de-duper" Waaayyy too much Barney goin on up in here. Might have to lay off the purple dino for a while. Until next time peeps.. I love you, you love me.. oh crap.. shoot me.!
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