Back to the Roots

So what could possibly be worse than being a bad cook?  I can’t make prepared meals, I have a hard time with boxed mac-n-cheese, or boiling an egg.  So what have I done now?  After I have infiltrated my head with documentaries and websites telling me of all the bad things that are in our food, we have made one step towards eating more consciously.  It has officially been one month and I have had NO fast food aside from one sub sandwich from Jimmy Johns, and the only meat I have eaten is free range chicken or the grass fed beef in our freezer.  So this crazy idea of mine is to try and learn to cook as much from scratch as possible and eliminate a lot of the processed foods that make our lives more convenient yet extraordinarily unhealthy.

When I first began on my mission, I talked with the farmer that we will get our fruits and veggies from this summer and he was telling me how his family with 6 children have managed to live about 95% self-sustaining.  I was awed as he explained how his children never had things like Ritz crackers or fruit snacks.  My son has been living off of Chick’n in a Biscuits for most of his 3 years I am sad to say.  So the idea of not feeding these sorts of foods to my kids is daunting. I know it is bad for them and  I know I cannot make this change overnight.. I would have an addict with withdrawals on my hand if the biscuits left the building immediately. 

I don’t know that I will ever be making my own chips out of tortillas that I made from home-ground wheat, or making my own whipping cream from the Dairy cow I have tied to my back fence post in suburbia since that is pretty much illegal, but I think there are choices I can make towards meeting the goal of eliminating some of the nasty processed, chemical ridden foods from the pantry and our diets .  In order to do this, I must learn to cook.. not read directions on the side of a box, but actually make some real food from real ingredients.  If our ancestors did it surely I can.  I am sure that not every pioneer or housewife was a perfect cook.  Even Betty Crocker had to begin somewhere.

whatawhirlwind

Well school has officially begun and the reality that I will not be able to blog as often is setting in.  On top of school beginning, it has been a whirlwind of a week.  Anytime sickness enters the house, it is a cyclic event.  First one, then another, then another and so on until we have all been ravaged by anonymous bacterium and viruses.  The two boys had it the worst and I broke down and took them to the Dr. to find out we had ear infections and what was possibly turning into Pneumonia.  Luckily it did not get to that degree and the antibiotics have begun working their magic, but I have a feeling the coughing is going to be around for a while.

Tuesday was my second day of my Master Naturalist class and I am LOVING it!  At the Foothills Learning Center We saw a great demonstration on how to give a nature tour and a great guest speaker,Dr.  Jay Carlisle, from the Idaho Bird Observatory.  On the Nature walk we saw a mating pair of Great Horned Owls and a pair of American Kestrels.  It was amazing.  I also learned about some of the native flora in the area.  Since I am a non-native, I find it very interesting that sagebrush can live over 100 years!

School is already starting out rough.  I rented my textbook this year and as my luck has it, I realized I had the wrong version as I began to take my first quiz.  I was able to alert my instructor and was given an opportunity to take the quiz when I get my new book next week.  I hope this is not the beginning of a crazy semester.

I have had no new cooking blunders.  We are waiting to get some meat from a butcher that stocks free range beef and pork so are eating many meatless meals and chicken that I have found at the store occasionally since it is so expensive.   I can’t wait to get some good healthy meat in the freezer.  On Wednesday Oprah is having Michael Pollan on the show to discuss Food, Inc.  I am so eager to see it.  She has a reputation of bringing awareness to people across the world, I hope she can work her magic with this topic.  It is because of one of her shows that I began buying cage-free chicken eggs. 

Leaves of Change

There comes a moment in time when one realizes who they really are in this journey of life.  Before I turned 30, I often felt like I had been dealt a bad hand.  I felt like choices I had made weren’t always the best, and that if I had made different ones maybe my life would be better than it turned out to be.  I have wondered what it would have been like to plan out events like weddings and babies because it often felt like we just were flying by the seat of our pants all the time.  I often regretted not finishing school earlier, or being stuck at a dead end job.  I think everyone has thought about the “what if’s” and how life may have been different if an alternate path had been chosen.

Lately I have done a fair amount of soul searching.  I believe it all began about the time I became pregnant with Spencer.  At first I wanted to know why?  The  doubt of being able to care for another person settled in fast and emotions were high the whole pregnancy. The naturalist in me would say that with his natural, midwife assisted birth, I obtained  empowerment that just grew long after they cut his cord.  I was invigorated, and felt like I could conquer anything!  This little boy was something special.  

The year following his birth proved to be a time of growth for myself and us as a family.  For some reason, something that could have proved detrimental to my family and my marriage turned out to be the best thing that could have happened.  With Spencer’s birth, a sort of revival began in my heart and in our home.  Now I don’t want to portray that everything was hunky-dory because we still have our share of problems.  The other kids are changing right before our eyes,  we still have family issues that are not unfamiliar.  The biggest thing I see is how we have learned to handle the problems and life matters in a much more efficient way.

Today we celebrated Spencer’s first birthday.  Unfortunately he has a little cold and is not feeling well.  Before he went to bed, Brent brought the little guy down and I took him to the rocker and held on to him.  As I was sitting here, I began to reflect on this short time we have been blessed with him and how lucky I am to have him and all the kids in my life.  I have always related to the little ones more.  Their innocence, and dependence on us for all their needs.  Then I thought as I listened to him breathing on my chest and hear the hum of the fish tank, how they are all wonderful and despite how old they are, they still need me, and I will always need them.  Being a mom is the best job in the world.

When I think about all the negative things in life, I now see all the positives as well.  Sometimes it is hard to focus on just the good things but it is worth the energy to seek them out when it presented with life’s challenges.  I am learning to hold the people close to me even closer and never lose sight of my dreams.  A good friend of mine helped me to see that even if we lose sight of our dreams, that which we wish for is always obtainable if we only believe in ourselves.

The Final Countdown

Three days until school begins again and I am in panic mode.  I need to clean the house, do the laundry, plan Spencer’s little birthday party, finish his quilt, read my pamphlets for my Master Naturalist class and the list goes on and on and on.  It’s days like these that I question my sanity and ability to do everything.  I have friends that have called me Supermom and I get strange glances when people learn all I have going on but for me it is just normal life.

Today started out sort of questionable.  I wasn’t in a bad mood even though the night before was stressful, but I was exhausted from a terrible night’s sleep.  I decided early on to make the best of the day and have some fun with the kids. I recruited them to help with some housework and they were fairly reluctant.  After a few loads of laundry were put away, dishes washed and lunch eaten, we packed up and went to downtown Boise to the  MK Nature Center and watch a program on wintering animals.  We took a stroll and saw some deer, fish, and most importantly the kids got to burn off some excess energy.

There were a lot of things I probably could have done to be more productive, but I think we needed to get out of the house.  My list of things is still there, and I will likely be rushing tomorrow to finish some of that stuff.  I am physically exhausted and I don’t even want to think about class starting next week.  I think it was a good day and I am thankful that we live in a wonderful city that offers such resources to fill an afternoon of fun and education, even in the rain. 

Sugar and Spice

Ever since I was very young, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I think most girls want to be a mother at some point in their life. Nearly 10 years ago when I first found out that this would be a reality I don't think I knew what I was getting myself into. My oldest is almost 10 and my baby will be one this week. I have learned so much in these 10 years, yet there are days when I don't feel like I know anything about raising children. Today was one of those days.

I feel very fortunate that my husband is as active in parenting this circus as I am and when I am having a rough day, I usually run to him. I have never seen myself as a very good "girl" mom. I admit I wanted boys first and when I ended up with 3 girls before having my boys I wondered what I had I done to deserve this. Don't get me wrong I love my girls, I just don't know how to relate to them.

Girls are emotional, boys are rowdy. Boys will just jump around while the girls will cry. With the little guys I just need to redirect them, no mind games, no persuasion, just redirect the energy elsewhere. I like to think that it is way to early for hormones to kick in but I fear it might not be the case. Sometimes my oldest will cry, and its the same kind of crying I would do when in a funk. My husband claims she is my mini-me, my clone, and I cannot disagree as much as I would like to. The thing is I don't even know how to deal with myself, how can I deal with her?

Raising girls, actually children in general, is tough in this world. It is a scary, scary thing. I might not be the mom that played dress up with my girls and cringe when they want their nails painted or their hair put up. And I feel more comfortable outside playing ball with them and getting dirty than putting on lipgloss, but I hope I am a good role model for them and they see me as a good mother that loved them nonetheless. I hope to gain the courage to deal with the tough subjects that are just around the corner and that they can come to me or their father with any problem they may have. What more can we ask for in this society?

Eleven Days and Counting

The kids returned to school this week and we are trying to return to "normal". I managed to get dinner on the table 4 of 5 nights this week which is a feat in itself. It always helps when someone is sick though. I didn't feel too well so I stayed home from work and was able to get a lot more laundry and some filing done. Oh yes, I am also keeper of all things financial. It is a job I do not like, yet a requirement to keep things afloat. School for me begins in 11 days.

As if I don't have enough on my plate as it is, I have taken on the search for good, happy meat. You know, the kind where chickens and cows and pigs are free to eat grass and grain and not pumped full of antibiotics? Happy farm chickens. Well this is proving to be a little more difficult that expected. I bought some chicken at the Co-op that was extremely expensive. I will have to wait a few months to get the fresh farm ones and order some to keep frozen. We are definitely going to need a BIG freezer. I am really excited that the whole family is on board with this. My kids are eager to try new veggies when we start getting them in the spring from a local farmer through a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). This is the most amazing thing I have discovered yet. You can find one near you at www.Localharvest.org .

The next crazy thing I have decided to do is something that will be very hard right now, but extremely beneficial to me in my future career. My major in school is Biology for Natural Resources. The MK Nature Center in Boise is hosting a Master Naturalist Volunteer Certification program. This will be 48 hours worth of instruction and classes and 40 hours of volunteer work. I hope for my future employeer to be Idaho Fish and Game so I see this as an excellent addition to my resume'. Not only is this going to take some time away from my studying, but it will be the first time I will have to leave my baby somewhere on a regular basis. I know it is only a few hours once a week, and I know he will be fine as I trust where he will be, but he is my Baby! And the only kid I have had to leave somewhere before they were old enough to enter Preschool. I'm already sad that he is turning one in less than a week. It seems time has gone by way too fast.

I hope that I can finish my "to do" list before school starts and I hope I can make it through another wild and crazy semester with my sanity intact. It's like the Little Engine that Could. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can". I just have to keep chugging along. With the support of my family and friends, I KNOW I can do it.

Mom vs. bird

I finally did it. I prepared my first meal of wild game birds. I decided to roast the pheasant with potatoes and we had thawed out five quail also. I found a recipe called "Southern Fried Quail" and thought it would be right up my alley. Dinner was supposed to also consist of homemade rolls, corn and macaroni and cheese. I thought I had given myself plenty of time to make this meal and eat it before I had to go to work and early into prep, I knew it was going to be rough. I got the pheasant into the oven fairly easily, even though it wasn't quartered like it called for and had it in for 20 min before having to flip it. When I had to flip it, a bone punctured my roasting bag and the broth came running out. Quick, I had to get a new bag, transfer all contents and seal it up again. Yeah.. this was going to be interesting.

Next up were the quail. The recipe called for them to be split down the back and I panicked. Google and You-tube don't fail me now. For some reason there is not a lot of on-line demonstrations on how to prepare quail for frying. I did my best, de-boned the quail, battered and fried them. Next step, make gravy from drippings. I grabbed my phone and hoped my dad would answer. He walked me through browning the flour and making the gravy and I was happy to see it turned out pretty good. Quail, check. Gravy, check. I knew the rolls were a lost cause, there was just no time. I threw the mac and cheese into the pot and ordered the kids to set the table.

At this time, I should have been leaving for work. I got it all out on the table, changed clothes and headed out the door. I know I have mentioned my time management skills being less than adequate. This scenario of making meals for the family and then leaving for work without eating is pretty normal. I really want to change this. As for dinner, the verdict is out on how successful it was. The pheasant was tough. I don't know if this is because it was an old bird or if it's because it was overcooked or because it wasn't quartered. Nevertheless, it was not edible (though Taylor seemed to believe it smelled delicious). I was told the quail was good, however I have my doubts since there was some left over and there wasn't much to begin with. I know I am not a great cook, and I am trying but someday I will be able to deliver a fine meal.. someday.

The Greater Good

I think I have always been an environmentally conscious person. I have attempted things throughout my life that illustrate that I DO care about the world we live in even if I haven't always followed through. When I lived in Wyoming I took up soap-making. I absolutely loved doing it. When I became pregnant I quit making it due to the cost and the chemicals it took to make it not exactly being safe to use. However, when I had my first daughter I did buy and use and wash cloth diapers. They are magnificent!! These are not your diapers of the past with huge pins and plastic pants. No, these are wonderful all-in-one diapers with snaps and cutesy prints and soft fleecy and flannel fabrics. I used these for my first two children and only sold them when I was "done" having kids. Well I thought I was done... When I did get pregnant again and again and again, I never bought them and missed using them terribly. If I had known I would have so many kids I would have used cloth for all of them.

Skip ahead to present time. The other night, Brent and I watched Food, Inc. After watching this, I realized I have lost sight of some of the things I feel are important with as busy as my life has become. I feel there are things we can do as a family that will make a difference in this world. Today I was talking to a friend about some of these issues and he asked me if it really mattered, if what one person does will really make a difference. He seemed to think that people are people and will do what they always have done. I want to say that the answer is yes.. that one person CAN make a difference. In all honesty, if I change my life and lead by example, aren't I teaching five others to do the same? Everything we do is able to influence what those around us do. I am an optimist by nature and always looking for the good in things and people and I hope I never stray from this.

So what is my plan? Luckily I have the support of my husband. He even made a five gallon bucket of homemade laundry soap the other day. I was honestly shocked that he was willing to get on board with making better decisions for our family regarding what we eat. I think we would have to be starving before we eat another fast food hamburger or not know the origins of our chicken. Granted this is going to be a learning process and a lot of trial and error, but I know in the end it will be worth it. Now I am researching local farmers, co-ops and markets carrying local and fresh foods. I need to find a supplier for chicken, pork, and beef. We have been eating free-range ground beef for about a year now and know it is so much better. This is going to be a work in progress and as I learn I am sure there will be times when I won't want to do it. I hope that through this I will learn to not be so wasteful, learn new recipes, and try new foods. If anyone reading this has any experience in this matter, I am open for suggestions, websites and testimonies on the transition.

I do think that one person or family can make a difference towards the greater good. I know it cannot be achieved overnight and we will not be perfect, and I honestly think it is going to be a great adventure.

On a side note.. pheasant is on the menu for tomorrow... no turning back this time as it is thawed in the fridge and ready to be cooked. Cannot waste a tasty piece of wild game.

A New Decade

2010, I can hardly believe it. I think if I were to look back at my entire life, this last decade is one that would define who I am. It was a little over 10 years ago that I left Tennessee to begin my new life. So much has happened in the last ten years I cannot even begin to list it all, but among those things the most important are easy. I became a wife, a mother, a student once again, and I learned who I really am. If someone had told me in 2000, that 10 years later I would be married, with 5 kids and had moved a total of 8 times and lived in 3 different states, I probably wouldn’t have believed it. But here it is and here I am and so far I like how it's turned out.

I am no different than most people and at the beginning of each year I usually make a list of New Year’s resolutions. I came across my unnaturally long list from this past year the other day and was not the least bit surprised that I have not accomplished any of them. This is when I ask myself if I am going to make another one this year.

What's funny is some of the resolutions on last year's list are things I have already mentioned in this short time of blogging. I did not finish mom and dad's quilt and I did not become more organized with things like appointments, the house, food and groceries and I didn't send one single birthday card out on time this year. Yes, these are actual resolutions that I have down on a piece of paper. I am also no more physically fit or financially fit than I was a year ago despite joining the gym and Weight Watchers and I didn't go on a single hike either. I think I gained more weight than I lost, and my patience with the kids is as thin as it was before.

I decided to just change one thing on my list from last year. The date. Instead of it saying New Year’s Resolutions-2009, I will change it to 2010. Do I consider myself a failure? No, in fact I think 2009 was a success. Instead of focusing on all the things I did not accomplish, I want to look at what I did accomplish. I had another baby, a wonderful baby boy. I returned to school. I made the steps necessary to work towards my weight-loss goal. I feel that all of these things greatly outweigh the things I did not accomplish last year.

I look forward to 2010 and all the beginning of this decade has to offer. I think I have grown a lot and have the tools I need to live a fuller, richer life. No one says resolutions have to be followed and they can't be broken. I look at it as a guideline, recognition of what one would like to work on. It might not be accomplished in that year but the realization of what you want is power. So with that I welcome you 2010!