I'm a loser baby.. so why don't ya kill me....

I know, I know.. I can hear Beck serenading also.. but this is appropriately my theme song for this week.  First off, I obviously can't even follow through with my own goal.  Well I did in a way but not my personal water goal.  I did well for the first three days and then I really don't know what happened.  The good thing about that is all I have to do is start again.  And this is what I intend to do.

As for the new meal a week, well that did happen, but it wasn't the menu I had lined out.  The thing about having a large family is you have to be flexible.  There are days where I am too tired to make a huge meal, or things happen and it doesn't fit in the schedule.  When Brent made out the menu for the last two weeks, he also added Hamburger Stroganoff.  I will be brutally honest, as I was making it.. there was no way I was going to eat it. My Smell-O-Meter signaled a big fat NO FRICKIN WAY.  Mushrooms.. yuck, sourcream..yuck.  Still, I made it for the rest of the team.  To me it looked like homemade hamburger helper, as if the boxed stuff isn't bad enough.  Surprisingly, Brent, Taylor and Bridget all liked it.  I guess it wasn't a total fail.

Tonight I made breakfast for dinner.  This is honestly one of my favorite meals to make, ever.  I could eat breakfast food every day I think.  So tell me.. how do you screw up breakfast?  I think other events of the day hindered my deliverance of a decent breakfast.  The hashbrowns were too starchy and were a big glob, the eggs burned, the gravy was a mix from the bulk aisle at Winco and smelled like melted plastic and I didn't even serve it.  The best part of the meal was the biscuits and bacon.  It was a total embarassment.

On a lighter note.. even with failing to drink my water and exercise regularily (although I have been utilizing our machine a few times a week), by eliminating my snacking late at night and at work I managed to lose about 4 lbs over the last 3 weeks.  I am pretty happy and it has given me a little more motivation to keep making wiser choices.  We have also decided to re-join the YMCA.  I am so excited.  I have always loved the Y and I will be getting weekends off again which means more family time which translates to less stress and some family swim time.

So ya, I'm a loser.. but if it means loser in that I am a little lighter.. then Ill take that.

Let's Roll

I was tossing a few ideas around in my head as to what this weeks goal was going to be.  I decided to go ahead and pick two.  I did this for a couple of reasons.  The first is because my husband sort of made the decision for me without even knowing it.  The other reason is because I wanted to do something for myself that was an attainable and measureable goal.  So here we go.  Remember, I would LOVE for you all to play along.  Make a goal! Stick to it, and report back to me.

Goal #1 : Drink at least 64 oz of H2O a day.  Cliche' I know, but I know that drinking water helps aid in weight loss.  I also know it will make me feel better, and it is something that I can keep track of daily.

Goal #2: This is going to be a long term goal, and this is the one my husband decided for me.  I already had the idea in place but hadn't picked it for this week.  I came home from work last night to a wonderful meal list filled out by my husband.  He found some new things to try and put them on the list and provided me with the recipes too.  So my goal is, to make something totally new for dinner at least one night a week.  I will post that meal on here on Sunday night's post (which most of you will recieve on Monday morning), and then document the meal with a picture the night of, and report back in on Sunday with the result and a new recipe to try.

This week I will make this on Thursday:
Paula Deen's Short Ribs (sans rice)
Crash Hot Potatoes
Baked beans
Homemade dinner rolls

All of these aside from the baked beans which come to me courtesy of the Bush secret family recipe, are new to me (unless of course, mom wants to send me her recipe for beans).  I  wish I had a Dutch Oven, ahem, for not just the ribs but other things I would like to learn to make, but I will have to make do with my Grandma's trusty iron skillet.

I really, really hope some of you join me in this venture.  I hope it allows me to try some new things and expand my tastes.

On another note, I found a new CSA to join! This time I have much better feelings about it.  The one we joined last year was a bust.  It was their first year and well, they had a lot to learn, and it just was too far to drive.  This year we are going to use Spyglass Gardens . I think this one will turn out a whole lot better than last year and am really looking forward to it. 

Bittersweet

Today is sort of bittersweet.  My baby boy turned 2.  He is my last baby and he and I share a special bond that I can't explain.  I am a little sad that he is growing up and I won't have a little one anymore soon..  Yet as he gets older, it allows me a little more freedom in my life.  It's a little less chaotic as he now will play quietly by himself or with his siblings, watch a whole movie, and let me know when he wants a drink or a snack.  He has always been a pretty laid back little baby.  He came into this world with a bang.  I went in around 9:30 am and he was born at 11:45 am.  He was over 2 weeks late but when he was ready, boy was he ready.  It was by far my most enjoyable experience ever.  Maybe because it was so fast, maybe because I had the freedom of walking and eating and getting in a tub when I wanted.  I had no nurses telling me an epidural was ok, that it didn't mean anything if I got one.  And then once he was here, he laid a blanket of calmness over me.

I don't really remember having any nursing issues with him, he was a huge boy at 9 lbs. 4 oz.  He didn't cry a lot, he loved to cuddle, he slept fine in his crib from the first night.  Even as he got older he was easy going, go-with-the-flow type of kid.  Maybe because he was the last of 5?  The news he was on his way was shocking, scary and even sad at first, but today I cannot imagine life without him.  I can't imagine not having any of them actually, but with life a little turbulent at the time he was concieved, the odds were against it being a good thing.  I'm happy it turned out and even improved my life and relationships.

I guess after 5 kids I was due for one that was fairly easy.  Not to say that it will always be easy but for now I cannot complain.  So we started off the year with the first birthday of many.  I have high hopes for this year.  It has to be better than past ones and we are doing everything possible to make sure it is.  If we all make it out with our sanity intact then I will consider it a success.

So Happy Birthday to my little man, you make me laugh and smile every day and you lift me up when I'm feeling down.  I love you more than I can say, I'm glad you are my baby boy.

Goals

So I have a new idea for my blog.  On Sunday each week I am going to post a weekly goal.  You are encouraged to join me if you like and check in before the next Sunday and I too will report back in.  Some of these goals may be health related, some might just be things I want to get in the habit of doing, but I want to make it fun!  Let this be a food for thought so we can get to it next week.
Sunday I put up another 12 pints of blackberry jam.  I really love canning.  I actually am looking forward to the next growing season so I can try new things, make more pickles, process more apples and hopefully grow some more things.  I still have even more blackberries to process and some grapes.  I really should do this before school resumes in a week.

So last week I had decided I wanted to learn to make homemade, authentic tamales.  I followed the directions and they turned out really, really good.  So this weekend I made some more and Spencer ate 2 and wanted more.  The other two littles put up a fight and we had to force a bite down them, Gavin in all his drama and glory gagged himself to tears but finally got it down the hatch and then said.. "It's a little bit good, but I dont want anymore."  Start em' young I guess.. Spencer eats more of a variety than any of the others and I think thats good for a 2 year old.  Well almost 2 year old.  Yes, yes.. my baby of babies, my little guy, my LAST one will be 2 on Thursday.  It's a bittersweet event.  That diaperless days are soon to come (after 10 years I think its deserved), and he is the last to go to preschool.  But to know there will be no more little babies, that soon his independence will overshadow his need for me, it is sad and means I'm getting old.  I hope the special bond we have never breaks.

Well folks, think of some goals and lets get crackin.

Ta ta  for now my peeps.

A Little Rant.. ok, a HUGE one.

I don't typically like to complain publicly, I usually save it for my husband, but sometimes I just get irritated.  I am going to do this Sara style and reveal how I feel about certain issues.. well maybe not quite as colorful as she does it but that's OK.

So most people know I work retail, and I don't particularily like my job, but when you have been somewhere so long and make decent wages, you don't just quit unless it's for a good reason.  Until I complete school and can move on, I will stay there.  I have worked at a total of 8 different stores, and until this year at this new store, was I enlightened to the fact that the first of the month.. S-U-C-K-S.  Apparently we are in a high food stamp area and these food debit cards get loaded with all the money a family needs for groceries for a month on the 1st. Imagine that.. like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, magic happens.  This phenomena causes our store to get crazy busy for a week.  My feelings about this government program are mixed and not really the only issue of this post  I just tend to notice some of the things that bother me closer to the first part of the month and today was no exception.

I'm going to back up a little to earlier in the day.  Like I have mentioned before twice in a row we were in a home that went to foreclosure.  It upsets me on many levels that it not only happened once, but twice and has disrupted my family life in many ways.  I dont cope well with the issues surrounding the house we are in and realtors and all that goes along with it.  So today after getting a phone call that they wanted to take pictures..today.. I was pretty bent out of shape.  I told them, no thanks, come tomorrow because I  have that right.  After finally getting over that, we found out that we had to pick a different medical insurance plan.  This has happened every year.. each year it gets more expensive and more confusing. How is it that a relatively healthy family with no major medical issues can hardly afford to have insurance that they probably won't use but need in case something terrible happens?  It's insane the premiums we are required to pay "just in case".  Another example of our great government at work.

So here I am at work, I get to see into the personal lives of people by watching what they buy.  When it comes to the Food Stamp program, I get to witness what MY tax dollars are paying for.  Not just the misuse, but the ones who use it wisely and responsibly.  I also get to see how peoples habits reflect on who they are.  Like the drunk lady that comes in every night and buys alcohol.  She is intoxicated but her kids drive her here to get her drinks and smokes.  How about the morbidly obese that not only look very unhealthy, but I can smell them from the end of  the line and then they purchase the junkiest junk food ever with their food stamps.. nearly 300 dollars and not one fruit or vegetable.

This brings me to the purpose of my rant.  A lady comes in to my line with her family.  She is middle aged, her elderly mother and her young children with her.  She is suffering from something.. and tell me she had to take an insulin shot because of her diabetes a little bit ago.  When she was ready to pay, with her food stamps, she hands me two trays of caramel breakfast rolls.  The ones that have so much on them its pooling in the aluminum pan.  She then tells me that she wants to hide them so her mother doesn't know she is buying them.  This upsets me in so many ways.  First off, if you almost passed out, why the hell are you buying quite possibly the most sugary thing in the store?  You are clearly DIABETIC and dont need to be eating it, and you don't want your mother to know you are buying it because she knows this too.  You are obese, sick and you still want to eat it.  This my friends is why we can barely afford health insurance. 

This country is going to hell in a handbasket and I am not going to point fingers at any one person.  Its everyone.. its the food industry for having the crappy food, its the government for enabling these people to suck the life out of the funds the government doesnt have in the first place. Hey its the government for paying the farmers money in subsidies to  grow the crappy food to feed us Americans and make us fatter so we have to rely on more medicines that cost more money that make insurance premiums skyrocket.  I feel like for all the years I sat back saying I hate politics I could be part of the problem.  I finally feel like an adult and am hoping my children have a little brighter future, but the light at the end of that tunnel, isn't too bright.  I don't have all the answers, heck the only answer I think I do have is that something needs to change, and we can't blame it all on the President, past or present, or advertising and fast food.  Its a huge tangled web of problems that are going to all need to be addressed. I hope our children can learn from the many mistakes we have made and this country, the Land of Opportunity can become that again.

Out with the old, in with the new

A clean slate.  It's the best thing about the new year even though in reality nothing really changed, it is a definitive end of one thing and the beginning of another.  So what if my imaginary list of resolutions from 2010 remains unchanged, just make a new one!  I had some pretty high hopes for 2010 and each was met with reluctance and resistance.  For every hope I had there was something standing by with the intention of smashing it. In the end though I feel we came out at the top regardless of all the disruptions we had.

I may not hold a candle to Julia Childs, or Betty Crocker.  P-dub would probably be embarassed of all the things of hers I attempted that resulted in disaster.  Alton Brown would scoff at my claim of being a scientist.  Its OK though! I became a better cook, I am more conscientious of the origions of my food, I have taught my children the importance of eating "good" food.  With all that being said, I did change up my blog a little, I will have to take the time to figure some of that other stuff out.  But I like the new look, it is definately my style. 

So here's to the new year! New friends, new house, new cooking fails and successes, new semester, and most of all new hope.