With all that is going on in life lately, you would think I would have a ton to write about, but instead it is the opposite, I cannot think of what to write. It's quite possible that lately, not much has been going well and I don't feel like reflecting or bitching about how my life seems to suck lately and things just aren't fair. Inside I am a screaming two year-old throwing that kind of tantrum that embarasses the parent, the checkout girl, the other patrons and the siblings of the one throwing the tantrum. I tend to wear my emotions on my shirt sleeve and it's hard to put on the game face. So yes, I will admit that things aren't so great now, and I don't always cope so well, but, I am trying to take the time to reflect on what is going right in my little chaotic mess of a world and when I look hard enough I can find some good.
Among these would be:
-My 5 children. They drive me absolutely batty all the time, and I don't realize it all the time.. but snuggling with my oldest watching a movie, having a tickle fest with the second, a sweet kiss from the third, the HILARIOUS things my son says, and the grins and dimples of my precious baby. There is nothing that compares.
-My husband. All odds against us, we have conquered a lot. I think we make a good team.
-Having a job. I don't like my job, but like people keep reminding me... at least I have one.
-My family. They are thousands of miles away, but always there if I need them.
-Being able to experience the awesomeness of this state. If only we had gotten here a little sooner.
-My friends. I admit, I have very few people I can call a great friend. But the few I have managed to keep over the years and miles, are all I really need.
-My health and mind. I may not be slim and trim, but i'm relatively healthy and thankful I have the ability to use my mind and am able to keep learning every day.
I know some of these are so cliche. But these are THE things that keep me going daily. If not for the kids and my husband? What would I be dreaming for? Why would my desire to keep working matter, who would I be providing for? I wouldn't be where I am today without my family and Brent's family. If we weren't in Idaho, we would be in hell #1, Wyoming, or hell #2, Nebraska still. My friends! They listen to me even if I know they probably don't care, they still listen to me vent.
I like to hope that things will get better soon, that things could always be a heck of a lot worse. We aren't rich, but are surrounded with other riches that cannot be bought or have a value placed on it.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Cowpies and Bird shit
I thought once school ended I would have more "free time", but that does not seem to be the case. It seems each waking minute of every day is filled with something. The kids of course want to do things now that school is out, and the last two weeks for me have been spent looking for another rental close to the kids school so they won't have to change too many things at once. Then there is the usual, laundry, dishes, cleaning, more laundry, yard work, errands, paying bills, and then work on top of that. I guess when you have "free" time it is easy to find stuff to fill it with.
Today was not a very successful day in the kitchen. A couple of weeks ago I made some banana bread and it was not too bad but the sides and bottom were over done. So I did some research and asked around and thought maybe a silicone pan would work better. I went and bought two silicone loaf pans, made it up and put it in for 15 min less that the recommended time. Sure enough it was burn on the bottom.. again, even more than before. I dont think it was the pans fault. I think I should have shortened the time and the temp a little since the recipe called for a bundt pan and all I had were loaf pans.
I then went to make these Malted Milk Cookies for dessert, and the recipe seemed simple enough. the dough tasted fabulous. So I plopped the cookies down and what came out of the oven after only 8 minutes (recipe calls for at least 10) was not as the picture shows. My husband lovingly said, and I quote, they looked like "cow patties with bird shit on them". Um yeah, he was actually kinda right. The cookies caramalized and readily outgrew the pan they were on running into each other and dripping to the bottom of the oven causing a nice charred stench in the house. I can honestly say that I have never been so traumatized by having a food failure as I was today.
For dinner I made the Panko Mozzarella Sticks again and the were fine, we had fresh salad with lettuce from our CSA farmer, Urban Green Harvest , and Brent made a tenderloin from naturally and humanely raised pork from The Princess Farmer that we picked up from the co-op last week. It was a really good dinner. That sort of makes up for the horrible cookies even though I have a feeling I won't live it down. I still have no idea why they did not cook properly.
Tonight marks my beginning of an experimental adventure. I decided to take on another job working for the Idaho Statesman delivering papers. Only time will tell what will happen or how it will all work out. All I know for now is 2 am comes really early and I'm scared to death I'm going to piss some grandma off because I didn't put her paper where it was supposed to go, or someones paper got hit with a sprinkler and got soaked. Working 2 jobs might seem like a lot but like I said, it's an experiment.
We will be moving to our new place in about a month. I decided I am going to have another garage sale so during the day I am going through and finding anything I possible can to put out there. This year has surely been a rollercoaster with its ups and downs, in a way a bit like my cookies. It sounds like it should be fabulous, but when you take a bite its all one big mess.
Today was not a very successful day in the kitchen. A couple of weeks ago I made some banana bread and it was not too bad but the sides and bottom were over done. So I did some research and asked around and thought maybe a silicone pan would work better. I went and bought two silicone loaf pans, made it up and put it in for 15 min less that the recommended time. Sure enough it was burn on the bottom.. again, even more than before. I dont think it was the pans fault. I think I should have shortened the time and the temp a little since the recipe called for a bundt pan and all I had were loaf pans.
I then went to make these Malted Milk Cookies for dessert, and the recipe seemed simple enough. the dough tasted fabulous. So I plopped the cookies down and what came out of the oven after only 8 minutes (recipe calls for at least 10) was not as the picture shows. My husband lovingly said, and I quote, they looked like "cow patties with bird shit on them". Um yeah, he was actually kinda right. The cookies caramalized and readily outgrew the pan they were on running into each other and dripping to the bottom of the oven causing a nice charred stench in the house. I can honestly say that I have never been so traumatized by having a food failure as I was today.
For dinner I made the Panko Mozzarella Sticks again and the were fine, we had fresh salad with lettuce from our CSA farmer, Urban Green Harvest , and Brent made a tenderloin from naturally and humanely raised pork from The Princess Farmer that we picked up from the co-op last week. It was a really good dinner. That sort of makes up for the horrible cookies even though I have a feeling I won't live it down. I still have no idea why they did not cook properly.
Tonight marks my beginning of an experimental adventure. I decided to take on another job working for the Idaho Statesman delivering papers. Only time will tell what will happen or how it will all work out. All I know for now is 2 am comes really early and I'm scared to death I'm going to piss some grandma off because I didn't put her paper where it was supposed to go, or someones paper got hit with a sprinkler and got soaked. Working 2 jobs might seem like a lot but like I said, it's an experiment.
We will be moving to our new place in about a month. I decided I am going to have another garage sale so during the day I am going through and finding anything I possible can to put out there. This year has surely been a rollercoaster with its ups and downs, in a way a bit like my cookies. It sounds like it should be fabulous, but when you take a bite its all one big mess.
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