Hello? Remember me?

I know I don't have a ton of readers, and hopefully someday that will change, but I think that to earn more readers, I need to write more.  As I'm sitting here, I am thinking about many many things.  I find myself here, nearly a year after the first time I posted, once again watching Julie and Julia.  This is what inspired me to blog, its also partly what inspired me to start cooking.  I can honestly say I am a much better cook now than I was a year ago yet there is so much more I want to learn.  I have decided that I need to give my blog a new look, and between now and the new year I will totally overhaul my blog.  I will try to enlist the help of my computer savvy husband and by New Years I want to launch my brand new look. If there is something you think will improve my blog PLEASE shoot me a message and give me advice. 

This blog began mostly as a foodie blog, but it has turned into a few other things.  I'd like to make a distinct seperation within my blog for the things I would like to talk about so it doesnt seem so random.  I will do some linky link-ups to make my blog flow better and direct you to previous topics.    Overall I just want it to look nicer and flow better.

Meanwhile, here is my life in a minute:

I finished my third semester with an A in one class and probably a B in the other, We are getting the boot for the second time in 8 months because of owner foreclosure and will have to find a new place to live yet again and even though we want to buy I am not sure if we will be able to, I dislike my job very much and want nothing more than to get a job in a different field yet I stick with it because it pays well and its usually pretty easy, My husband and I got a Kitchenaid mixer (more on that later) and it has become a fixed appliance in our kitchen and it helped me to successfully make good dinner rolls for the first time ever, I have a to do list a mile long of things to accomplish while on Christmas break, among these are create my own personal cookbook with all my tried and true recipes, clean my house, organize my finances, spend time with the kids, begin packing, and hopefully bust out the old sewing machine..whew, I'm tired just writing that.

Please stay tuned for my reveal and launch of the new Tales From a Misfit Housewife blog a couple of weeks away.  In the meantime.. tomorrow my bird hunting enthusiast husband is going to attempt to bring home some duck.  If I haven't learned many things, I have learned this... each bird brings its own challenges.  So this means I will have to learn to cook a duck.  Not to mention learning to eat them.  I have so far loved all the different kinds he has brought home; hungarian partridge, quail, dove, pheasant and chukar, so next up will be duck and geese.  Results to follow at some point.

Regrets

Well I havent updated on our eating misadventures lately so I figured I was overdue.  Easily enough to say, I have not really tried any new recipies lately.  I have stuck with the tried and true and the quick and easy.

What has not gone as well is our quest for total wholesome eating.  On January 1st we pledged to change the way we eat and for the most part we have made some major changes and stuck with them.  We have bought much better meat, eggs, produce.  Cooked more, dined out less, experimented with new foods.  We went out of town a few weeks ago and were faced with having to go out to eat one night.  We only had 2 options and we chose the least expensive of the two.  It was the first non-deli-or-pizza food we had purchased since the beginning of the year.  All I can say about that is regret.  It did not make me feel well at all.

So today we were out with the kids and went out for Taylor's b-day dinner.  Not only was there nothing on the menu that looked good, but the thing I did order was one of two things.. undercooked or overheated.  They were little rubber pieces of chicken.  Gavin didnt want to eat his pizza, Spencer didn't touch his chicken and overall it was not a great experience.  On top of that the sticker shock that I got after recieving a check for 7 people is enough to make one remain abstinate from restaraunts.  From here on out I pledge to refrain from those types of establishments.  We haven't been missing out on anything at all these last 9.5 months.  In fact, I find it a bigger treat when I make a large meal and we sit down at home to eat.

So we have some decisions to make.  We did order a pig from one of Brent's friends for the beginning of the year.  Our beef is almost all gone aside from the ground beef that is left.  We really need to order another 1/4 beef now while we can get it at a discount but that might have to wait.  Luckily hunting season is upon us and I am hoping for a freezer full of upland game bird and some Elk and Deer.  That would really help us with the food bill for sure.

On a lighter note and a future blog topic, I did learn to can these last couple months.  I have made blackberry jam and pickles.  The kids love the pickles and well, the jam was good too and we have enough to last for a while and I have 7 more gallons of berries to turn into jam.  That will keep me busy.

A day in the life of me

This day is coming to an end.  I am having my "evening" cup of coffee and will head to bed soon.  Wait! you say?  It is 2 am.. why are you having coffee at 2 am and why are you just now going to bed?  Well my friends.. today was one of those days where it starts very early and ends very late and these days are becoming very common.  I am thankful that it is not due to studying though, I am getting along fine in that respect, even got invited to join the honor society.. who knew I had it in me?  As for the coffee, well I learned it helps me sleep.. for me it is a relaxant, not a stimulant and if I do not have it before bed, i do not sleep well and wake with a headache.

Today was my 10 year old's birthday.  I just cannot believe it.  I honestly remember little about her babyhood, besides her crying all the time.  She was only about 9 mths old when I was pregnant again, so the last 10 years are a blur.  I don't like that feeling.  Our busy lives caused us to miss out on some things, but we were able to raise her and not rely on others so that is good.

So my day started like this:
7:15 stumble out of bed, go down stairs, make kids and hubby sandwiches, make three littlest ones breakfast, kiss the older girls out the door, urge Gavin to finish and take him to school by 8:30.  Note:  NO coffee yet.

Home by 8:45 make coffee, start making treats for Taylor's class since it is her birthday.  This required making 2 batches of Fruity Pebbles Krispie treats. 

10:30 pick up Gavin, come home, feed all three little ones lunch so Nat can go to school.  Cut up rest of treats, brush hair, meet UPS to grab a package that was mailed to wrong address, Take Nat to school...late...because we could not find shoes.  She insists on riding her bike but it was oh so hot, Gavin draggin his feet whining, had to go to office, then find Taylor, pass off treats and begrudgingly walk home again in HEAT.

Home around 12.  Load kids directly in car, go to WinCo because I did not plan a cake for my daughter (terrible mother I am) Find a cake, get candles, pay, go to car and realize I didnt get my newspapers I bought but with kids in car and ice cream cake melding in car, I had to leave without them.. and those papers my friends.. had a ton of coupons.

Home by 1:30 I decide to eat!

2:30 leave to go meet girls after school.home around 3.  Put poor baby to naps..finally.  Who I am thinking might have mild chicken pox.. it is TBD still.

Give out snack, put on entertainment since older girls are not allowed to watch TV M-Th. THOUGHT I was gonna rest.. but no.. Had to make dinner early so I could eat with them and have cake and ice cream.  Picked up house a bit, did the birthday stuff.. and off I was.

At work by 6.  work was, well work.  It sucks.  But its a job and it pays decent so who am I to complain.  I don't usually reflect on what I have done in a day.  Its my life as I chose it and its what has to be done. Finished work at 1 am.

So after work I had to get a couple things, for instance I want to make these for the kids tomorrow morning (but likely won't happen til Sunday) and I needed a few things.  THEN I went to WinCo to get my coupons baby cause with those coupons I can get some stuff I need for nearly free this week and I cant miss out on that.  So this.. is why I am sitting here at 2:30 blogging, drinking coffee and not in bed yet.  I must wind down, that takes time.  I'm pretty exhausted, and in 12 hours I will be back at work again.. *sigh*.. someday this will end, the chaos will cease.. but hear me clear.. if you ask how I am.. just expect me to say "tired".

Harvest

I love fall.  It is by far my favorite time of year, with the crisp air, crops being harvested and the leaves changing.  You can just feel the seasons change.  From spring to summer, like this year, there wasn't much of a transistion.  It was like BAM, hot, hot, hot.  But from summer to fall, you can feel the difference.  It is a gradual transition, the days get shorter, the nights cooler, the wheat gets harvested.  Before long there will be snow on Bogus Basin again.

When my raised garden bed didn't pan out because of our impending move I was pretty sad.  I let my seedlings die because part of me wilted when the chaos began.  After the shock was over, I did plant a few pepper plants and a tomato plant in some pots.  They all started growing fairly well and then we moved out here.  With this house there was an existing garden area that was semi-cleaned out.  There were a few tomato plants still here and we thought they were volunteers and probably wouldn't produce but left them anyways since they were covered in flowers.  I picked up a few other plants at work and planted them in hopes that they would mature before the cold season.  I chose zucchini, yellow squash, and cucumbers.

Two days ago, I picked my very first zucchini.  My Roma tomato plant in the pot didn't make it.  I think plants just do better in the ground.  I picked one red chili pepper and 4 jalapenos.  I think they are done producing for the year.  As for the "volunteer" tomato plants, well they turned into a massive tomato bush covered in sweet 100 cherry tomatos.  I have been able to pick a handful every couple of days and there have been many that I never managed to get. 

That little garden spot has brought about a few more surprises.  There are 4 mammoth sunflowers that are on the verge of blooming and about 10 tomatillo plants that are beginning to bear fruit.  It has started to cool down so I am uncertain as to how well they will do.  None of these plants were here other than the tomato plants and the others just sprung up on their own.

I have so many plans for when we get our own place.  A garden is definately on this list.  I remember the garden my dad had when I was young.  It wasnt a huge garden, but it was still fun.  We also had a compost behind the house.  As for now, I am looking forward to next spring when I can plant even more of a variety of vegetables.  It is a form of satisfaction that can not be replicated. 

So as I say goodbye to summer, I say hello to fall - events, craft bizzares, haunted houses, trick or treating and autumn colors.  I love fall. Happy harvesting!

Life and Death

It was my first time sleeping in a tent in YEARS! It was chilly out but not unbearable, the cots were nice and we had warm sleeping bags.  Although I had good accomodations, I was not comfortable and I woke up a lot.  My cot was on the slightest incline.  Enough that I slid to the bottom of it repeatedly.  I awoke at 4 am, sure it was time to get up.  I had not been consuming the enormous amounts of coffee that I do in real life, so when I awoke, my head was pounding.  I didn't think I would be able to go back to sleep when I realized it was that early.  Jim gave me a couple Ibuprofin and he proceeded to get up.  He left me alone and I was able to squeeze another hour of sleep in.  I was not happy thinking about having a migraine on THIS day.

Around 6 am, a squirrel woke me up with some incessant chattering.  He must have been sitting outside my tent because it was so loud.  Thankfully my headache was now gone.  I meandered through the trees and went to the cabin to find that Chef was making some breakfast burritoes.  These guys really know how to eat out here!  After eating and getting my caffeine fix, we gathered up our waders and began work right away.

The first order of business was to check the traps and see if any new fish had arrived at the hatchery.  There were two in the trap below the holding tanks so we caught them, sorted them by sex and measured, and checked for various tags and then banded them.  After watching Chef do the first one, it was my turn.  These things were behemouths!! The two we caught were males and boy are they fiesty!  After successfully catching, measuring and checking for tags, the crazy fish slipped out of my hands.  I could tell that this was going to be some work.

Next order of business was to get in the tank with a large gate and crowd all the fish into a smaller space to help sort the ready females from the ready males.  There are two runs, one for males, one for females.  In the end we had 44 females that were ready and more than enough males.

Now it was time to get to work! By now, the rest of the crew had arrived at the hatchery, We had genetics researchers, fish health workers, surveyors, and many other people all there to get in on the action.  They walked us around the pit and explained what was going to happen, assigned everyone to a station and went through the first fish processing slowly so we would get a feel for it.  I was on the egg shuffling station.   The process went a little like this:

1. Take female from holding tank, kill her by conking her on the head with a steel pipe

2. Cut female and allow her to bleed out

3. Hang female, slice and remove eggs into a collander

4. Remove eggs from sac and take to the bucket station and put eggs in clean bucket (my job)

5. Take a male from holding tank, hold and milk the milt (semen) out of him (sort of like milking a cow) onto the eggs in the bucket

6. Add water to the bucket to start fertilization

7.  Wait for 1 min while the eggs are fertilized

8. Kill the male

9. After eggs have sat for one min, water is poured off and eggs placed into transport containers and placed   in an iodine bath

10.  Eggs are placed in a cooler and ready for transport back to the hatchery

Now some of these steps were happening simultaneously and I was able to do most of them.  I cut a female, milked a male, killed him, and did my egg shuffling.

I learned so much about all of this that it was truly an amazing educational experience.  I had no idea that it was as technical as it was, and that things had to be sanitized so much (iodine was used on everything!) There was to be NO cross-contamination of the females eggs, everything was labeled and numbered.  Samples were taken from both males and females for research.  If certain tags were found on any of the fish (coated wire tags in the snout) we had to cut off the snout and it would go back to the lab where it would be dug out and read.  Many of these fish had PIT tags, which are essentially a microchip similar to one a pet owner might have in their dog.  Some of these fish could be traced all the way back to the hatchery they were hatched at.  It is truly an amazing science.  Genetics with this has come so far that they can almost to a certainity trace the exact parantage of these fish. 

To know that these fish travelled for 8 months from the Pacific ocean to spawn and create new life is amazing.  These fish do not eat during this migrating time and the power they still have at the end of the journey is unbelievable.  Some of the fish return with many battle wounds from other fish or sea lions.  During this experience I realized that I knew little to nothing about these great fish, but I walked away with so much knowledge that I can't put a price on it.

After the blood bath, the carnage is documented, and all the fish that were killed will return to the surrounding rivers and streams.  After a fish spawns, they die.  They have no energy left to make the journey back and they have already left their progeny, so their purpose was served.  Since they naturally do not get back to the rivers when spawned manually, the workers take the carcasses and put them in the environment so they can decompose naturally and provide food and nutrients to the other animals and organisms that depend on it for survival.

The eggs at this point must be carefully handled, so after clean up there was no time to hang around, and we took off to the hatchery to deliver the eggs.  I now had a whole new set of questions for our now chef-turned-chauffeur again.  He probably thought we were done asking questions but now I think we had more than we did before we began.  When we got to the hatchery, the eggs were delivered to another person there and the eggs placed in an incubator.  Here the fish would stay for a year and  a half where in the Spring of 2012, the would return to the Powell station and placed down the fish ladder so they can imprint and know where to come in 2,3,or 4 years where they will spawn themselves. 

We took a small tour of the hatchery, and then loaded up to go back to Jim's house.  It was an exhausting day.  I enjoyed my entire time up there but was ready to get home.  I wish I had more time to relax out in the wilderness.  I didn't see any wild game, and I didn't really have much time to relax and just soak in the atmosphere, but I will definatly make some time to do that in the near future.

All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I will never forget it and the people that made it possible.  I felt a kinship with these people that only comes from sharing an experience that is done so for the respect of nature and for the sake of benefiting a species.  It is amazing how at this one place.. life ends for some, and thousands of lives begin.  A place of Life and Death.

Adventureland- day 2

After a restless nights sleep, I got up the next morning and packed my bag for the trip to the hatchery.  I'm always amazed when I drive through Idaho at the diversity of the landscape.  As we left scalding hot White Bird, we drove through Grangeville where my husband grew up.  Everytime we go through there I try to imagine him as a young boy growing up there.  I am always in awe at the vast expanses of farmland and especially all the wheat fields.  I don't believe I had ever seen a wheat field until we moved here and I keep hearing "Amber waves of grain" going through my head and I realize I never knew the honesty of this line until I witnessed it myself.

We had a bit of a goose chase looking for our ride, but when we realized it wasn't the Dworshack hatchery, but the Ahsaka hatchery down the street, we were on our way.  Now, I honestly had no idea what to expect out of this trip, so the entire way up to the station, I picked that poor guy's brain who was instructed to haul us around.  I asked every little thing that came to mind.  He once said he was beginning to think he needed to take some refresher courses so he could better answer the questions we were throwing at him.

Prior to my trip, the manager of the hatchery asked me what I would be interested in doing when we got there and had told me that the huckleberries would be ready to be picked.  Now for those of you who don't know what a huckleberry is, think blueberry, but smaller, but sweeter, and much more rare.  These little bushes are unable to be grown commercially and are sought out by gatherers in great numbers as they fetch a pretty penny on the market.  They are also well-loved by the local bear population.  My husband made it very clear that I was NOT to come home without some.

So berry picking was on the agenda again.  This was perfectly ok with me.  Before we went to the sweet spot, we drove up to an overlook and peered out over Walton Lakes and a view that was spectacular.  Its amazing how refreshing it is out in nature like that.  I could feel it was where I was meant to be.

The berry picking went smoothly, all my chattering with the assistant manager kept bears at bay and I was able to ask more questions.  This guy, Brad, was such an amazing guy.  He lives like I would love to live someday.  The majority of his food comes from the land.  His entertainment is the outdoors.  When I hear how he and his family lives, it makes me wonder how anyone can truly be happy living any other way.

After we gathered our berries we headed back to the cabin and our chauffeur-turned-chef grilled some fantastic steaks and made a wonderful salad.  Then we all gathered around the campfire with the rest of the crew and watched the Perseid meteor shower and various satellites fly by and located various astrological signs and planets.  It was truly refreshing.  Knowing that the morning would come quickly and tomorrow would be a busy day,  we all retreated to our various beds, tents and sleeping bags for the night.  Thankfully the babbling stream outside our tent helped lull me to sleep as I was worried my excitement would keep me up all night.

Hello Salmon, here I come...

The weekend I had been planning for since the spring had finally came.  I had blogged about this trip before and how I was going to "get in shape" to toss some salmon around.  Well that didn't happen...at all, but I wasn't about to pass up this experience.  This weekend was the Chinook Salmon Spawning Experience (and a mini-vacation for me).

My attempt to leave very early on Saturday was sidelined so my hubby could take our dog to a Rattlesnake avoidance class.  It was an educational and rather humorous experience to say the least.  I never thought I would be one who would think seeing dogs getting shocked by a shock collar as funny, but man, some of those dogs put on a show.  Knowing it was something that would potentially keep them safe in the future made it more bearable.  All I know is I don't think Kati will go near a snake anytime soon.

Once I finally hit the road on my way to my father-in-laws house, my excitement grew immensly.  I had no idea what to expect and the stress from home seemed to melt away mile by mile.  I have loved the drive up there since the first time we drove it, but this was the first time I drove it myself.  I actually did quite well  winding along the Payette and Salmon rivers, through tourist-laden McCall, and among the cattle filled meadows. 

We weren't expected at the hatchery until Sunday, but I wanted to go up to Brent's dad's a day earlier so I could do some other things I don't normally get to do when we are up there.  Thankfully I was up there this time at the peak of the blackberry season.  I don't think there is anything I love more than blackberries.. except maybe huckleberries, but more on that later.  Shortly after I arrived, we gathered up our supplies, changed clothes and went on the search of a ripe blackberry patch.  Luckily we didn't have to look long and fell right into a nice patch that eventually yielded us about 3 gallons of ripe blackberries.  Even though we took our snake sticks, we saw no snakes, and after managing to wander my way into a poison ivy patch I remained itch-free.

We drove back to his house and I cleaned up and packaged the berries into the freezer for future use, took a shower, ate dinner and relaxed with my book.  I could already tell that this was going to be an amazing weekend.

to be continued.......

Milestones

It seems every year we are approached with a new set of detours and roadblocks.  Whether it is babies, moving, job loss and changes, it seems every year we were presented with something else.  This year was no different.  The setbacks thrown at us this year were unexpected to say the least, and at first they were very unwelcome. 

I usually see myself as a person who can handle a difficult situation and accomplish whatever is needed to get done and move on.  This time I found it more difficult.  I found myself questioning my roles as a parent, wife, daughter, sister.  I questioned the decisions I have made in my life and wondered if I had made the right decisions along the way.  I wished I had taken different paths at times, I was more emotional than I think I had been in my life. I felt more alone than ever before, farther away from the people that were important to me.

So I decided I needed to try looking at things through rose colored glasses.  Maybe this was going to be better.  Maybe the life we had was toxic, maybe it was sucking the life out of us as a family.  Lots of people said maybe it was a blessing in disguise.  Whatever the case, we needed to make the best of the situation.

So here we are.  After visiting Middleton over the 4th of July, we had our minds made up that this is what we wanted.  We wanted to raise our kids in a little simpler town, with a little less hustle and bustle.  We both grew up in small towns, we both miss the closeness of it.  Meridian was voted many times over for being an "ideal" place to raise a family, but I don't think it was ideal for us.  There was too much competing with the neighbors, and friends.  Not feeling as worthy because our house wasn't the biggest, or that it wasn't ours period. 

Here are just a few things I have already determined that I love about small-town life.

- Ridley's.  I love running to "town" to grab something at the supermarket and recognizing the cashier every time.  It reminds me of the days mom and I would go to Doug's IGA.

-Driving through the neighborhood and having people we don't know and kids we have never seen, wave to us.

-Going to local events and realizing most of these people know each other.

-Horses EVERYWHERE.  All kinds, Quarter, miniature, Mules, English, Western.  The whole town is covered in horses.

-minimal stop lights.  I haven't counted but I don't think there are many, if any, in Middleton.

We have only been here a week and already I feel the stress melting away.  We are mostly moved in, the kids are meeting new friends, we are finding things to do locally instead of running all over the place all the time.  I think it will take some adjusting to and realizing you can't just go to town anytime you feel like it.  But I like that.  I think in the long run it will be a good thing for us.  We all needed a new and fresh start.

The Silver Lining of my Rain Cloud

With all that is going on in life lately, you would think I would have a ton to write about, but instead it is the opposite, I cannot think of what to write.  It's quite possible that lately, not much has been going well and I don't feel like reflecting or bitching about how my life seems to suck lately and things just aren't fair.  Inside I am a screaming two year-old throwing that kind of tantrum that embarasses the parent, the checkout girl, the other patrons and the siblings of the one throwing the tantrum.  I tend to wear my emotions on my shirt sleeve and it's hard to put on the game face.  So yes, I will admit that things aren't so great now, and I don't always cope so well, but, I am trying to take the time to reflect on what is going right in my little chaotic mess of a world and when I look hard enough I can find some good.

Among these would be:
-My 5 children.  They drive me absolutely batty all the time, and I don't realize it all the time.. but snuggling with my oldest watching a movie, having a tickle fest with the second, a sweet kiss from the third, the HILARIOUS things my son says, and the grins and dimples of my precious baby.  There is nothing that compares.
-My husband. All odds against us, we have conquered a lot. I think we make a good team.

-Having a job.  I don't like my job, but like people keep reminding me... at least I have one.
-My family.  They are thousands of miles away, but always there if I need them.
-Being able to experience the awesomeness of this state.  If only we had gotten here a little sooner.
-My friends.  I admit, I have very few people I can call a great friend.  But the few I have managed to keep over the years and miles, are all I really need.
-My health and mind.  I may not be slim and trim, but i'm relatively healthy and thankful I have the ability to use my mind and am able to keep learning every day.

I know some of these are so cliche.  But these are THE things that keep me going daily.  If not for the kids and my husband? What would I be dreaming for?  Why would my desire to keep working matter, who would I be providing for?  I wouldn't be where I am today without my family and Brent's family.  If we weren't in Idaho, we would be in hell #1, Wyoming, or hell #2, Nebraska still.  My friends! They listen to me even if I know they probably don't care, they still listen to me vent.

I like to hope that things will get better soon, that things could always be a heck of a lot worse.  We aren't rich, but are surrounded with other riches that cannot be bought or have a value placed on it.

Cowpies and Bird shit

I thought once school ended I would have more "free time", but that does not seem to be the case.  It seems each waking minute of every day is filled with something.  The kids of course want to do things now that school is out, and the last two weeks for me have been spent looking for another rental close to the kids school so they won't have to change too many things at once.  Then there is the usual, laundry, dishes, cleaning, more laundry, yard work, errands, paying bills, and then work on top of that.  I guess when you have "free" time it is easy to find stuff to fill it with.

Today was not a very successful day in the kitchen.  A couple of weeks ago I made some banana bread and it was not too bad but the sides and bottom were over done.  So I did some research and asked around and thought maybe a silicone pan would work better.  I went and bought two silicone loaf pans, made it up and put it in for 15 min less that the recommended time.  Sure enough it was burn on the bottom.. again, even more than before.  I dont think it was the pans fault.  I think I should have shortened the time and the temp a little since the recipe called for a bundt pan and all I had were loaf pans. 

I then went to make these Malted Milk Cookies for dessert, and the recipe seemed simple enough.  the dough tasted fabulous.  So I plopped the cookies down and what came out of the oven after only 8 minutes (recipe calls for at least 10) was not as the picture shows.  My husband lovingly said, and I quote, they looked like "cow patties with bird shit on them".  Um yeah, he was actually kinda right.  The cookies caramalized and readily outgrew the pan they were on running into each other and dripping to the bottom of the oven causing a nice charred stench in the house. I can honestly say that I have never been so traumatized by having a food failure as I was today.

For dinner I made the Panko Mozzarella Sticks again and the were fine, we had fresh salad with lettuce from our CSA farmer, Urban Green Harvest , and Brent made a tenderloin from naturally and humanely raised pork from The Princess Farmer that we picked up from the co-op last week.  It was a really good dinner.  That sort of makes up for the horrible cookies even though I have a feeling I won't live it down.  I still have no idea why they did not cook properly.

Tonight marks my beginning of an experimental adventure.  I decided to take on another job working for the Idaho Statesman delivering papers. Only time will tell what will happen or how it will all work out.  All I know for now is 2 am comes really early and I'm scared to death I'm going to piss some grandma off because I didn't put her paper where it was supposed to go, or someones paper got hit with a sprinkler and got soaked.  Working 2 jobs might seem like a lot but like I said, it's an experiment. 

We will be moving to our new place in about a month.  I decided I am going to have another garage sale so during the day I am going through and finding anything I possible can to put out there.  This year has surely been a rollercoaster with its ups and downs, in a way a bit like my cookies.  It sounds like it should be fabulous, but when you take a bite its all one big mess.

Move over Betty Crocker....

Well... not really, but I do think she would be impressed that is.  Thanks to my new BFF's Alton Brown and The Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond, my culinary experiences are leaning more towards the impressive side and less towards the "its edible but...." side. 

I am actually excited aobut learning to  make new things.  I have been spending too many hours perusing recipes and techniques, but like my favorite phrase of all time... knowledge is power.  Cooking really is an art, and I believe that all artists need to be passionate about their craft.  The closest experience I have had to passion about food is savoring it as it enters my mouth.  My long standing love affair with food is not an unknown fact,  my waistline can prove that.  Until now though, the actual thought of crafting something that is beautiful and delicious, never really seemed that interesting to me.  Thanks to network TV and thinks like Altons lovely scientific show Good Eats that caters specifically to my inner science geek, creating delicious meals is suddenly now more appealing and after a few rounds in the kitchen, I realize I CAN cook.

As I have mentioned before.. for all my good creations, there are bad ones.  So I'll begin there.  Who knew no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies would be a huge DESERT FAIL.  Yep, I goofed those up.. instead of firm mounds of chocolately goodness with a hint of peanut buttery flavor I ended up with a giant glob of gleatenous goo.  Sure it tasted ok , but after I plated it up (fancy cooking terms for you wanna-be-chefs) it fused into one giant oatmeal cookie that never firmed up!  I didn't feel the need to archive my catostrophic attempt.

Next fail, and I was not surprised, was my bread.  The bread I have eaten often at my kids preschool and had to borrow the recipe.  I ended up with about 8 mini loaves and 2 large loaves of dense, un-risen yeast bread.  Well, it rose halfway but almost only counts in horseshoes and honey we aren't playing picnic games here.  After talking to many, bread takes time and practice.. two things I have very little of, but I am determined to make it work.

Now for successes! I can now roast a chicken.  Yep you heard me, I had never roasted a chicken til about 2 weeks ago and it turned out great.. Rosmary and thyme chicken stuffed with garlic and  lemon.  It was soo good even the kids gobbled it up.  Brent is a little weary of  food that too much resembles its former life, but he might have to get over that.  It was just too easy and so versitile! (insert picture of roasted chicken that my budding photographer husband did not think was good enough to keep)

Next up.. Alton Browns Baked Macaroni and Cheese sans the onions and voila, instant success.  Super easy and after 2 meals the whole dish was consumed!

The day before I made some of Ree's Restaraunt-style Salsa.  I am super picky about my Salsa, but this turned out very good! It has been requested that I spice it up a bit more next time.  I can hardly wait to make it again.

Then I made her Panko-breaded Mozzarella Sticks.  Had these not been paired with the super cheesy dish above, they probably would have been a bigger hit.. Natalie loved them! 

 

Next I will attempt some Flank steak and Roasted Carrots.  I also plan on attempting homemade bread.. again, if only it would rise.

A is for Awesome

Thats right.. A is for, I am Awesome cause I got an A in both my Physical Geography and Art History II class.  This was my ultimate goal this semester.  I made B's last semester but knew I could do better so I gave it my all.  I wish I had been this dedicated when I was in college before.  Who knows what I might be doing today had I applied myself like I do now.  All that being said.. I loved both classes.  I learned far more in Art History than I even imagined was possible, partly due to my instructors passion for the subject.  The fact that she was a Biology Major first, gave me a sense of connection with her I think.

So, now that summer (for me) has officially begun, I really need to make plans for me and for the kids.  I am more relaxed about the pending move than I was before.  I'm not nearly as angry as I was even though I still don't like it.  Brent and I are really getting our act together so within the next year we can buy a house.  I am more than ready to settle down.

There are so many things I want to do.  I definately want to spend time with the kids.  I want to hike more, work less, sew again, and get organized.  Taylor wants me to teach her how to sew so I think that is something I will work on.  I need to get the kids involved in some activities and sports and I really want to do some swimming too.  Oh yeah, I am also going to improve on my cooking skills, which, I might say, have improved over the last couple of months.  We have tried a few new things, we have a larger variety of menu items to choose from and for dinners we eat more vegetables than before.  Tomorrow I am going to make a chicken.  I have never bought chicken as a whole before, its always been boneless, skinless breasts.  However when I realized how much a free range chicken is compared to the breasts, I quickly see the savings by using the whole bird.

I am going to try and update this more frequently now that I don't have classes.  I just want to keep it interesting.  I hope this summer will bring lots of discoveries and adventures.

Synopsis

Holy camole... what a week this has been.So much has happened that I can't think of any better way to explain it than to just wrap it up in one blog post.

My Master Naturalist class ended.  I am very sad, I loved my free Tuesdays to learn and mingle with like-minded people and learn so many things.  I am now looking forward to volunteering to fulfill my 40 hr volunteer requirements to become certified.  This week I went to a Class in the Creek and helped out for a little bit.  It was fun watching all the kids discover what critters were living in the river.

Where's the Beef?  That's right, here baby, in my big ol' freezer.  I went at the end of last week to pick up our 1/4 cow.  We have already had steaks twice and are having roast later this week.  Honestly those steaks were so freakin good.  I cannot describe how good they were.  One can only live off ground beef and fish for so long.

We are in the market for a place to live.. again.  We have lived here for 4 years and will soon be moving to our 4th house.  Last Sunday we were informed that our landlords were foreclosing on this house and we were going to have to find a new place at some point.  We also discovered that for the last 6 months they were pocketing our rent money and not using it for the mortgage payment. This did not settle with me well.  This was supposed to be our last rental, we were supposed to become homeowners after this.  Right now it isn't looking promising for us to have a home unless we get lucky and fall into an owner financing deal.  So needless to say, I am NOT building my garden, so local-yokels, if you are in the market for some veggie plants, they are all doing great and will be ready for new homes in a few weeks.  I am so bummed that I cannot grow them in my garden bed like I had hoped.  I am also very disturbed to the possibility of having to uproot the kids again.  They have moved far too much in their short lives.

I am not dying, I don't have some sort of cancer or underlying disorder causing my pain in my ovary and lumps in my breasts.  All my uber expensive tests I had done came out "within normal limits"  so no scare there.  However I have a theory as to why my cycle is so out of whack.   You know how they say a woman will become synchronized with others around them?  Well I am thinking my tween daughter whom I thought was far too young to deal with this caliber of a nuisance might have something to do with it.  So parents, just when you think you have time to explain things to your pre-teens, you might not have as much time as you think.  I think this is opening up a whole new can of worms to come and I was NOT prepared.  One day at a time.  I seriously think that there is something to all the theories that all the hormones our children are consuming daily is causing them to develop at a faster rate.

On a lighter note, school is over in one week!! I have 3 tests left and then "School's out for Summa!"  I am stoked.. I mean there is so much I want to do and now more things I have to do, that not having to worry about reading or tests or labs is excellent.  I do have to figure out my classes for next semester though which is not looking good.  I either have to go one more additional semester OR take three classes in the Fall if I want to graduate in the Spring.  For sanity's sake I think going one more semester might be worth it, however I just wanna be done! I want to finish up and get it over with.  So only time will tell. 

Well thats generally whats been going on.  Life get's crazier by the second.  Now I suppose I better get to reading so I can take one of the three tests tonight.  One step closer.  Then maybe I can do a better job on posting on here.

Melancholy

This is the best way to describe me at this moment.  Although according to the dictionary, it sort of means depressed, and really, I don't get depressed.  So I guess somber could be fitting as well.  Today it rained, and it didn't just rain, it STORMED, big clashing booming lightning kind of storm.  This may have contributed to my mood.  I love a great storm, however I was as work so I didn't get to enjoy the relaxing effect it typically has on me.

So why am I so glum? Who knows.  I am stressed, I do not like my job, I'm still behind on school work, my four year old son has decided he doesn't love me anymore and finds time to let me know at least 10 times a day.  I keep asking myself where I went wrong with that boy.  I hope it is just a phase because regardless of his behavior, I love him to death.  My Master Naturalist class is almost at its end, this makes me sad.  I love getting out once a week to mingle with like-minded people and learn about nature as it is my first love.  To know it is coming to a close makes me sad, there is only one week left and I will miss it so much.  It feels like there is so much still to learn.  At least now I can get out there and get my volunteer hours in and use some of what I have learned.

Then there is the typical things that usually get me down, like money and finances, not having my own house.  I'm still waiting to hear from my landlord just to get permission to build my raised bed.  I do not like asking permission.  I know my mood will pass, things will look bright again, and I'm really just in a sort of blah mood.  Not depressed, not even sad, just sort of here.  But this mood is good for me, I think well in this mood, I figure things out, I make successful plans, I re-focus.  This too shall pass.

My babies!

I realize I am way behind in my posting.  It has been a crazy couple of weeks.  I have not felt well at all lately, my schoolwork is way behind, and I was preparing for a garage sale that I had this last weekend that was extremely successful.  My laundry is completely lagging, I need to clean my house, I have no food in the house, the girls need their summer clothes out from the garage, I need to come up with a way to make the same amount of money that I am making at Wal-Mart so I can quit that place.  I realize that summer is approaching quickly and I only have about 3 weeks of school left (yay!!)  I want to make sure we are busy this summer, so there are no sitting around couch potatoes here.  Now you probably think I mean my little children, my little babies, but no, not this time.  So what babies can I be talking about?? My veggie babies!! I decided to start some seeds this year and picked a few up and planted them last Tuesday (4-13-10).  within 3 days I had babies!!

The seeds (most organic)

Planting with my "helper"

Day Three!!

I decided to plant what I know we will eat.  Tomatoes (two varities: beefsteak and cherry), zucchini, cucumbers, basil and oregano.  We also aquired 2 cabbage plant starts.  I originally was just going to use containers even though my luck with those in the past has been less than desirable, but Brent and I were talking and he brought up the idea of making a raised bed on our humongous RV pad.  I was excited from the start, knowing it was his idea makes me happier.  I mean, I don't have enough containers to plant in as it is so I would have had to buy some and pots are EXPENSIVE.  I figured that the tools I need to make one like this will cost as much or less than buying the containers I would need and it would probably be more successful.  It will be portable, so it can go when we do, and will be less likely to fall victim to the dog and her spontaneous digging antics.

Day 6

Cukes and Zucchini

Beefsteaks (note the unsprouted cherry tomatoes in the third row...)

So less than a week later, everything has sprouted except the cherry tomatoes.  There is still time and I am trying to remain hopeful and figured if we get this veggie bed built then we can always get some starts to put in it if the cherry tomatoes do not make it.  Tomorrow I will price out the materials and I will continue to update on the progress of the bed.  I am very excited to finally get my own "garden", so to speak.  Now if only I can get some chickies.. I found some chicks for two bucks but I don't have a coop and not enough funds to build a bird-dog proof chicken coop for my 3 chickens I want AND the garden.. so again.. the chickies will have to wait.

You want to do what?

I will be the first to admit I have come up with some CRAZY ideas in the past.  Unrealistic ideas and dreams.  Although I think you can't be afraid to dream, or take a leap with your eyes closed.  My whole life has revolved around me searching for my dreams to become reality and me taking giant leaps of faith.  I'm not really afraid of new things and a lot of times I just wish I had the time and energy to spend on some of these things (and money).  I mean really.. my whole marriage and life as I know it resulted on a giant leap of faith, and love.

So, upon my quest for a healthier lifestyle, there are some fun things I would like to do.  Our old neighbors had their own chickens.  We bought our eggs from them when we lived over there and it was what got me hooked on happy chicken eggs.  Well I have met more and more people who raise happy chickens, and learned it isn't too difficult to keep your own.  I will probably wait until we get our own house, but I do think I want some chickens.  Until then.. research research research.

Another thing I think I want to attempt is some container gardening.  There is a beautiful article in Mother Earth News Magazine on container gardening.  My past futile attempts yeilded NO fruits or veggies.  It might have helped to actually water the plants every once in a while. Mental note: Great chore for the kids, water the plants.   Who would have thought!  There is absolutely nothing I like more than ripe tomatoes.  I mean really it is like my most favorite summertime treat.  I am determined to sucessfully grow some tomatoes this year.  I'd love to build a long wooden planter for a row of fresh veggies.  Maybe May isn't too late to get that started.. you know.. when school is over.  I can' accomplish any extra activities until school is out.

So until we are comfortable in our own home, I will support my local farmers and their happy chickens, and try to plan out my container garden.  I want this summer to be fruitful and well, fun!  Happy gardening!

Memories

Well, I needed a new look for my blog so I went out and searched. When I came across this one I knew I needed it for my own. Now, this particular background isn't the exact place I remember as a child but it brought those feelings back of my childhood, a childhood I remember fondly. The place I remember is on the Monterey Bay in California where I lived for a while in the early 1980's. My dad was in the Army and we lived in Ft. Ord, CA. For fun, we went to the beach, the forest, we camped a little, and we spent quite a bit of time together as a family. Some of my greatest memories were of living there. I remember my friends, our neighborhood, my babysitters, my school, my adventures (collecting critters was fun), vacations, holidays, the magnificent scenery. Outside of Idaho, The bay area in California was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. I can still remember the smell of the ocean, the sound of the sea birds, and watching the otters at play. We fed ground squirrels, flew kites, and had picnics.


Just tonight I was talking with a friend about something that happened while we lived there. I was telling her of my friend and her brothers and how I used to go over there to watch the Mickey Mouse Club on the Disney channel because I didn’t get that channel at home and how they had a Pekingese dog and her mom had beads hanging from their doorway. This is just one example of how vivid my memory is of our stay in California. I'll never forget lizard hunting with my brother and being mad when he slammed its tail in the yellow Snoopy pencil box and watching it fall to the ground writhing. My friend Denny and I collected marbles and I buried mine in the woods in a coffee can so no one would take them. They are probably still there somewhere. The only time I was ever stung by a bee was at a company picnic where we were having a Pizza picnic and there were bees everywhere and I picked one up... it did not like that. We had a pet snake, bunny, tarantula, dogs, and cats. I always had spiders, or snails hidden somewhere. The snails liked the pointy ice plant. I have yet to see that plant again since we left.

I love this picture. It so looks like the famous Cypress tree that lies along the Carmel coast all alone. I sometimes feel like that tree, all alone, and yet strong enough to endure the ocean that stares back at me as if saying... "Ok, give me all you got, I can take it". Hearing the lowly foghorn as it roars across the coast- deafening. It makes me happy, makes me feel alive. I will always treasure all the time we spent there and hope my memories never fade.

Reality Checks

There comes a time in ones life when they realize that things are not as good as they appear and that we are not indestructible nor immune to mortality.  I have always seen myself as a picture of fair health.  Not perfect, and not in great shape, but I had great pregnancies with no complications, my blood pressure is within a good range, I have no allergies, never broken a major bone, or have been hospitalized for any reason other than childbirth. I’m not anything more than a social drinker, I have never smoked or done any sort of illegal drug.   All in all I felt I was safe and that the bad things won’t happen to me.

Last year during my physical when a lump was found in one of my breasts, I was very scared.  After tests and a couple follow up appointments, it seemed that all was ok.  I did not go to my last follow up appointment and let things go.  Then here I was, 9 months later and having some  pain that did not appear normal.  This time it was in my ovary area.  I was concerned enough to make an appointment and have things checked out.  This was yesterday.   It appears that I left with more questions than I went in with.

So now, there will be more tests, some ultrasounds, and a screening mammogram since breast cancer runs in the family, my lumps and possibly some new ones are enough to warrant a more thorough exam and I possibly have PCOS or poly cystic ovary syndrome.  While PCOS isn’t a life threatening disorder, it still was something I did not count on and now I have decisions to make regarding how to manage it.  I do not like taking medications and the reality that if I want to be more comfortable then I will have to take something.  The humor in all of this is that after having 5 not-so-planned pregnancies, and putting my wonderful husband through a vasectomy, I now will probably have to go on birth control pills.

I know that whatever else comes my way I will be able to deal with it.  Yesterday was a rough day emotionally and physically and well, it was just a rough day.  But today, today was good.  We had cereal for dinner, I was able to read my children a book before bed, and I sold our little freezer.  My head is a bit clearer, still full of questions, but I know things will be fine and I will persevere.  With support from my family and friends I will be just fine.

For those of you just learning of this.. mom, dad, Jen, don’t worry, we will get answers and you will all be the first to know.  I am still trying to sort it out in my head.

I don’t know how you do it.

I hear this phrase literally every single day.  And to be honest, there are many, many different answers.  Here are a few of my most popular ones:

• I don’t know either.
• You just do.
• I don’t have a choice.
• It isn’t that hard.
• and my favorite is just a shrug of the shoulders

In all reality, most of the time I feel like the correct answer would be “I don’t.”  I’m not saying that I don’t take care of the important things, but there are times when I feel like I don’t do what I should be doing.  Ignoring the obvious priorities, letting the TV become a “babysitter” because I am just too tired.  There are times I question my worthiness of being a parent, worrying that I have become selfish and let my own wants come before the needs of my children.    Then I realize that I am doing the best I can at this moment in time. 

I feel like I had a hard time adjusting to my fast-paced growing family.  It was like wham, wham , wham.. one kid after another and I just wasn’t keeping up.  Some days it was pure survival.  But we have made it so far.  We have conquered the terrible twos, 4 times in fact!  Successfully potty trained 4 as well.  Juggled work and school and kids and sports and afterschool activities.  Made it through 5 moves with a various number of children.  Bought a house, sold a house, cleaned up permanent marker off brand new carpet. Taught 3 of them to ride a  bike.  I've been embarrassed in stores, puked on, pooped, on, peed on. I’ve kissed boo-boos, cleaned scraped knees, held and rocked colicky babies.  Had many sleepless nights, and napped with tired toddlers.  When I think back to all of this, I realize that when presented with all these challenges and blessings.. you just go with the flow as they say. 

I think my biggest accomplishment from this so far is I have come out on top with my head still intact and screwed on straight.  I don’t need anxiety pills, or sleeping pills, no anti-depressants, no drugs (not counting caffeine).  For the most part I feel like I am fairly well-adjusted and all I can hope for is that someday, my kids will look back and not remember the times I told them to wait a minute, only for me to forget.  Or not hearing them talk to me when I am consumed on the computer or taking a test. I’m sure there will be a day that I may forget to pick someone up from school or practice.  I just hope they see that I did what I could and that it was enough.  That they too will come out as well adjusted adults.  I think this is what we all hope for and I feel like so far we are on the right track even with the imperfections.

Motivationally Speaking

I really don’t know what I am doing up still.  It is daylight saving time and here I am still awake.  I love staying up late at night, I do my best work at night, whether it be for school, cleaning house, thinking…I can only attribute it to the fact that it is the quietest part of the day.  No one saying “mom” every 2 seconds, no dog to let out, no bottoms to wipe, diapers to change, no dishes from lunch to put away, no meals to cook.. I think if the evenings could last forever I would take it.  Now I know that may sound selfish, but I do get overwhelmed with all the noise during the day at times.

I was digging through some old letters the other day and I came across a postcard from my mom’s friend Issy.  It had beautiful watercolor on it and it said “Take a Hike!”  This takes me back to the distant past where I dreamed of hiking the Appalachian Trail.  I read books, researched packs, and the whole mailing/drop off procedures for sending yourself care packages along the way.  Back then I was in fairly good shape.  Hiking seemed easy and it was something I longed to do.  Now here I find myself in the middle of some of the best hiking territory in the country and I have yet to do any substantial hiking.  I am a pretty busy person, but in all reality, I am in terrible shape.  This would be some of the things I have not discussed yet but as of late, my health and weight has really been something I am struggling with.  I do not blame it on having 5 kids.  Pregnancy was the best thing for my weight.  With three of them I actually lost weight during the pregnancy.  I would say I have become increasingly lazy.  Being tired a lot, I just haven't felt like going outside.

I started out 2010 saying this was going to be the year for me.  The year I did things for myself and got out into the world more.  We have been here 4 years and I am ready to explore!  My Naturalist class is going on a hike Tuesday and I am very excited.  I have begun utilizing my exercise videos and exercise machine more as well.  I am determined!  I have one other thing that has stepped up the motivation.  Idaho Fish and Game held an auction a few weeks ago.  I managed to “win” a trip to Northern Idaho to assist with the spawning process of the Chinook Salmon.  I have never been so excited!  There is a hook.  Part of the requisites were for the winner to be in good physical shape and able to handle these 20 pound fish.  Basically I have until August to get back in shape.  This opportunity is my motivation to get in shape.  Sure I want to feel good in general, and I want to look better than I do.  For some people, their motivation is a pair of skinny jeans, of some cute summer shorts.  For me.. I just wanna go sling some salmon around and not keel over in the process.

Baby Steps

I feel like I am making some progress, with both the external struggles I have already discussed and other internal struggles that have not been mentioned.  A while back I began "couponing".  Some of you might be familiar with this as it is a hot new trend.  Ever been at a supermarket and got in line behind a nice young mom and notice she has a three-ring binder with her along with a grocery cart filled with many items that all seem to be the same thing?  If not, and you ever come across this scenario, I will let you know you need to turn and run the other way.. fast.  If you do not heed my advice, you could be stuck in that line for a very long time.  I was this young mom for a short period of time, and while I am not disregarding this lifestyle totally, I am not embracing it as I once did, er... well... tried to do.  I will say it was saving me some money, and there were some GREAT deals, but as I have altered my way of thinking I am revisiting the whole idea behind it.

Today I was at Albertsons when I saw a phenomenal deal.  Yesterday at Bridgets after-basketball season party, some of the moms were discussing this awesome find.  Apparently, when paired with the right coupons and right doubler coupons, you could get Betty Crocker fruit snacks and fruit roll-ups for .30!  Even without the coupons, which I had none of since I have not been buying newspapers lately, they were still only $1 a box.  Now 4 months ago, I would have scoured for the coupons and headed down and stocked up on the sugary little morsels.  So today, as I was grabbing my green beans and a bag of potatoes to go with tonights baked fish dinner, I grabbed 4 boxes and put them in my cart.  The lines were loooong, and I hopped up to the self-checkout (you know since I'm such a pro-bagger), and started checking out.  Just as I finished scanning my items I came for, I thought and contemplated.. and then I left the boxes of high fructose corn syrup little globs at the store.

What was I thinking? Well here is what went through my mind.  The words of Michael Pollan were ringing through my ears.  As Americans, we are paying less and less for foods, but paying a high price later in life on medical care.  Yes I really did think this in my head.  But what I also thought was.. "Ok, these are a great deal!  Gavin looooves these things.. wait.. why do I need them, he eats them for a snack, but they don't fill him up, they are not good for his teeth or body, sure they are only a buck a piece.. but that is $4 I did not intend on spending when I came into the store today.. 4 dollars I can use for something else later", so I put them back and left the store. I think that even if I did have the right coupon combos, I still would have put them back.

I'm proud of myself.  I saved some money, I made a good choice, and we had a great dinner.  I ate green beans for the first time in my life.  I made fried potatoes and they turned out great! Mom if you are reading this, I believe that overcrowding WAS the problem.  And we had some delicious fish that my husband caught himself and it was good.  I still clip coupons and look for good deals on shampoo, toothpaste and other goods, but I have found that the majority of coupons and sales are on highly processed junk food. One would probably laugh if they could see my pantry today.  It does seem a little bare, but we always manage to find good things to eat.  As insignificant as this all seems.. its baby steps.  Its hard to leap in feet first, but with many tiny steps we can go a long way towards our goal.

Trial and Error

Well, we are going on month three of our trek towards living a little more green and altering the way we buy and eat our food.  Today, I will happily say the kids no longer run straight for the pantry at snack time.  Natalie's favorite snack is pears, or an apple with some peanut butter.  Gavin loves his grapes and bananas.  The girls take at least one piece of fruit with them to school, or else they have it when they come home.  I have yet to find a food Spencer will not eat.  The hardest thing to break so far has been the chips and crackers.  One step at a time I guess. 
When we found out our beef would not be ready until April, we bought a small sampling from the same farmer.  Earlier in the week I made some steaks.  What I didn't realize was the steaks were from a top round.. this is a particularily tougher piece of meat and I would have been better off cutting it up and adding it to the package of stew meat.  Oh well, the flavor was undeniably good even if it could have been a bit more tender.  I also burned the potatoes that I fried to go along with it.  Why oh why can't I make them the way mom does?  Last night, I made a barbeque beef brisket.  I trimmed the fat, seasoned it a little, put some sauce on it and put it in the crock pot.  To go along with it, we had baked potatoes, steamed carrots and some corn muffins.  All I can say was everyone wanted more and there wasn't enough to go around.  It was delicious.  For every not-so-good meal I seem to have a really good one not to far behind.  I suppose that isn't too terrible. 

I made a homemade pizza crust not too long ago and it turned out ok.  Gavin scarfed down three pieces but the crust was a little soft and bread like and, well, not very crusty.  This is one of the things that is going to take practice.  Breadmaking in general is not a very easy task.  There is much science behind it.

We have cut back on the amount of milk we drink since I started buying it at the co-op.  We literally cut our milk consumption in half and are being a lot less wasteful.  The milk there is from a local dairy with grass fed cattle.  The taste is soo much better than that bought in plastic jugs (these are in glass half gallon jars).  You really learn to appreciate what you are eating and how your food is processed before it gets to your home.  I am a little sad, Gavin is still sick so I will be missing my Master Naturalist class tomorrow.  We have a field trip to the wastwater treatment plant and I will need to stay home with Gavin.  This also means we will be out of milk for another day since I do the milk run on Tuesdays when I finish class since I am downtown as it is.  I will just have to make a trip there Wednesday as long as Gavin is feeling better.  I really hope he begins to feel better soon.

A New Chapter : Revisited

Well as I was going through some things I came across a written journal I have of the trip when we moved here. This actually came at a good time because I have been at a loss as to what to write about lately and have just been over-stressed in general. So here is an encounter of our relocation from Omaha NE, to Meridian ID in June of 2006. Gavin was 3 months old, Natalie was a year and a half, Bridget was 4, and Taylor was 5.

6-1-06
Well, it's 5 PM on Thursday and we just left Omaha. Our goal was to leave by 3 PM, so if this is a premonition of what is to come it is going to be a long weekend. Starting off today, I took the car in for an oil change and was told there was a recall and they had to replace some hoses so that initially set us back. Now, at 5:03 PM, Taylor is asking if we are there yet, Bridget and Natalie are sleeping. Yes, I think it will be a long weekend.

6-2-06
We made it to North Platte, NE last night at 10:20 after missing our exit for the hotel and going 10 miles before we could turn around. Our goal today will be to make it to Evanston, WY. Not a lot for scenery, just farms and cows, or "slow elk" as they say out west. Last night we ended up having a McDonalds "family dinner" under a tree. The kids did pretty well but Taylor wouldn't sleep in the car, but then again she never really would. I had to do my share of driving as well. It's 10 AM now and we are about 45 minutes behind schedule. We have about 600 miles to go today.

9:42 AM
We have now reached Mountain Time. We are headed towards WY and Taylor is rockin' out to her Alvin and the Chipmunks CD and belting out "We are the Girls of Rock and Roll". Bridget is already tired and we are finally starting to see some elevation. No more grassland plains! Yoda is doing OK. I think he is a little stressed out but overall seems to be managing. I think Natalie is having the hardest time. She keeps dropping everything and just doesn't have a lot to keep her occupied. So far Gavin has slept most of the way. I have been trying to teach Taylor how to read a map but teaching a 5 year-old to understand distance is nearly impossible. I was thinking last night how it was 6 years ago to the day when Brent and I first went to Omaha from Gillette for his interview and now 6 years later we are leaving Omaha and starting a new chapter in our lives.
5:12 PM
Well our destination is set for Evanston, WY ; 18 miles from the Utah border. We are about 150 miles from there now. Here we are in the middle of the WY wasteland, amongst sagebrush desolation. The weather has been great for traveling. We had another "McDonald's family dinner" for lunch. This is what Bridget calls it when we all sit down together.  Since I work evenings it can be a rare occasion. We did finally see some snow-capped mountains around Cheyenne. It was actually pretty nice around there. The girls saw their first antelope and probably more trees than they had ever seen in their life. I think Taylor might remember the trip but I doubt Bridget will.

6-3-06
9:15 AM
I just filled my coffee up at the Maverick and we are on the road again. We got to the hotel at a decent time last night but by the time we got to the hotel, changed, fed Gavin, and ate dinner, it was 10:30 before the kids were in bed. When I got up in the morning, Brent was in the shower and Natalie woke up screaming! Apparently one of her molars is coming in and she was in a bad mood from the beginning. Brent ate in the room while I took the 3 girls down to eat. After five minutes it was apparent Natalie was not going to eat and all the people down there did not want to hear her screaming. I shuffled all of them back up to the room and let Brent take care of her and we went back down to finish breakfast. Now we are headed to Salt Lake City, UT with about 350 miles to go before we hit Boise. We should have some nice scenery today. Natalie fell back asleep right away and she needed it since she didn't sleep well last night.
Things are still a little surreal. I think until we get to the house and our stuff arrives it just feels like a vacation. It is beautiful here for sure, with the mountains and rivers. I cannot believe I spent 6 years of my life stuck in Nebraska. We just exited off I-80. We have been on the same stretch of interstate for 2 days all the way from Omaha. Taylor asked if I have ever been to Utah and I told her it was my first time. She was pretty tickled and informed me it was her first time too. Well, it is time to stop and look at some scenery!

3:37 PM
This will probably be my last entry of the road trip, but who knows, maybe I will keep it up. I have to say it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Bridget has helped out with Natalie in the back and Taylor helped with Gavin in the middle and he has really been very tolerant with all of it. We just left Shoshone Falls. It is a really pretty waterfall off of the Snake River near Twin Falls, ID.

We have mountains all around in the distance and tons of farmland; mostly hay, beets, and of course potatoes. Well now we are all turned around in Twin Falls, I guess that has to happen a few times on a trip like this. When we crossed the border, Brent took a picture of me posing by the Welcome to Idaho sign. Utah was really beautiful, especially around Ogden. We aren't planning on stopping again until we get to Boise which is about 100 miles away. We will have to stay in Meridian at a hotel for a couple of nights since our stuff won't be here til Monday.

Babies, Books, and Beef

Wow, these last two weeks have been something else! I don't even know where to begin. Last week, my friend from work went into labor. She had previously asked me to be her labor coach of sorts so I was so excited to be able to go with her. She went into labor at night and I was at work so our other friend Vanessa and I left a little early to go help the mama out. She had decided to have him at the birthing center where I had Spencer. Anyone who has heard my story knows how special Spencer's birth was to me. As I was there witnessing this miracle, I was very emotional. It was only 13 months prior that I was there in the same situation having my baby boy. After a relatively short labor, and mama doing the most outstanding job I have ever seen, little Kyler came into this world and I am so honored to have been a part of it.

I have been a little overwhelmed this week, with all the chores that are getting behind, the laundry piling up, lack of sleep from the previous scenario. I had a few moments where I have thought, "What the heck am I doing?". Sometimes I feel like I have taken on too much with the kids, and school and work and my volunteer class, but somehow I always recover, my assignments get turned in on time, I make it to appointments, and there is always something for the kids to eat or wear.

Next week I am putting our order in for a quarter beef. We have a freezer to accomodate it and we got some pieces from the farmer last week and so far I am very impressed. We still have had no fast food with the exception of the deli sandwiches for the last two months, and I refuse to buy the beef from the stores. It felt so good to make a pot roast with grass fed beef and I even seasoned it all on my own with no help from McCormick. I might just learn how to cook after all.

This next week will be chaotic. The older girls are going to audition for a part in the Missoula Children's Theatre production of Pinnocchio. They participated last year in Red Riding Hood and loved it. I hope they both get a part. Bridget is sick with a stomach bug again and Spencer has feverish episodes with teething but all in all we are managing alright.

Back to the Roots

So what could possibly be worse than being a bad cook?  I can’t make prepared meals, I have a hard time with boxed mac-n-cheese, or boiling an egg.  So what have I done now?  After I have infiltrated my head with documentaries and websites telling me of all the bad things that are in our food, we have made one step towards eating more consciously.  It has officially been one month and I have had NO fast food aside from one sub sandwich from Jimmy Johns, and the only meat I have eaten is free range chicken or the grass fed beef in our freezer.  So this crazy idea of mine is to try and learn to cook as much from scratch as possible and eliminate a lot of the processed foods that make our lives more convenient yet extraordinarily unhealthy.

When I first began on my mission, I talked with the farmer that we will get our fruits and veggies from this summer and he was telling me how his family with 6 children have managed to live about 95% self-sustaining.  I was awed as he explained how his children never had things like Ritz crackers or fruit snacks.  My son has been living off of Chick’n in a Biscuits for most of his 3 years I am sad to say.  So the idea of not feeding these sorts of foods to my kids is daunting. I know it is bad for them and  I know I cannot make this change overnight.. I would have an addict with withdrawals on my hand if the biscuits left the building immediately. 

I don’t know that I will ever be making my own chips out of tortillas that I made from home-ground wheat, or making my own whipping cream from the Dairy cow I have tied to my back fence post in suburbia since that is pretty much illegal, but I think there are choices I can make towards meeting the goal of eliminating some of the nasty processed, chemical ridden foods from the pantry and our diets .  In order to do this, I must learn to cook.. not read directions on the side of a box, but actually make some real food from real ingredients.  If our ancestors did it surely I can.  I am sure that not every pioneer or housewife was a perfect cook.  Even Betty Crocker had to begin somewhere.

whatawhirlwind

Well school has officially begun and the reality that I will not be able to blog as often is setting in.  On top of school beginning, it has been a whirlwind of a week.  Anytime sickness enters the house, it is a cyclic event.  First one, then another, then another and so on until we have all been ravaged by anonymous bacterium and viruses.  The two boys had it the worst and I broke down and took them to the Dr. to find out we had ear infections and what was possibly turning into Pneumonia.  Luckily it did not get to that degree and the antibiotics have begun working their magic, but I have a feeling the coughing is going to be around for a while.

Tuesday was my second day of my Master Naturalist class and I am LOVING it!  At the Foothills Learning Center We saw a great demonstration on how to give a nature tour and a great guest speaker,Dr.  Jay Carlisle, from the Idaho Bird Observatory.  On the Nature walk we saw a mating pair of Great Horned Owls and a pair of American Kestrels.  It was amazing.  I also learned about some of the native flora in the area.  Since I am a non-native, I find it very interesting that sagebrush can live over 100 years!

School is already starting out rough.  I rented my textbook this year and as my luck has it, I realized I had the wrong version as I began to take my first quiz.  I was able to alert my instructor and was given an opportunity to take the quiz when I get my new book next week.  I hope this is not the beginning of a crazy semester.

I have had no new cooking blunders.  We are waiting to get some meat from a butcher that stocks free range beef and pork so are eating many meatless meals and chicken that I have found at the store occasionally since it is so expensive.   I can’t wait to get some good healthy meat in the freezer.  On Wednesday Oprah is having Michael Pollan on the show to discuss Food, Inc.  I am so eager to see it.  She has a reputation of bringing awareness to people across the world, I hope she can work her magic with this topic.  It is because of one of her shows that I began buying cage-free chicken eggs. 

Leaves of Change

There comes a moment in time when one realizes who they really are in this journey of life.  Before I turned 30, I often felt like I had been dealt a bad hand.  I felt like choices I had made weren’t always the best, and that if I had made different ones maybe my life would be better than it turned out to be.  I have wondered what it would have been like to plan out events like weddings and babies because it often felt like we just were flying by the seat of our pants all the time.  I often regretted not finishing school earlier, or being stuck at a dead end job.  I think everyone has thought about the “what if’s” and how life may have been different if an alternate path had been chosen.

Lately I have done a fair amount of soul searching.  I believe it all began about the time I became pregnant with Spencer.  At first I wanted to know why?  The  doubt of being able to care for another person settled in fast and emotions were high the whole pregnancy. The naturalist in me would say that with his natural, midwife assisted birth, I obtained  empowerment that just grew long after they cut his cord.  I was invigorated, and felt like I could conquer anything!  This little boy was something special.  

The year following his birth proved to be a time of growth for myself and us as a family.  For some reason, something that could have proved detrimental to my family and my marriage turned out to be the best thing that could have happened.  With Spencer’s birth, a sort of revival began in my heart and in our home.  Now I don’t want to portray that everything was hunky-dory because we still have our share of problems.  The other kids are changing right before our eyes,  we still have family issues that are not unfamiliar.  The biggest thing I see is how we have learned to handle the problems and life matters in a much more efficient way.

Today we celebrated Spencer’s first birthday.  Unfortunately he has a little cold and is not feeling well.  Before he went to bed, Brent brought the little guy down and I took him to the rocker and held on to him.  As I was sitting here, I began to reflect on this short time we have been blessed with him and how lucky I am to have him and all the kids in my life.  I have always related to the little ones more.  Their innocence, and dependence on us for all their needs.  Then I thought as I listened to him breathing on my chest and hear the hum of the fish tank, how they are all wonderful and despite how old they are, they still need me, and I will always need them.  Being a mom is the best job in the world.

When I think about all the negative things in life, I now see all the positives as well.  Sometimes it is hard to focus on just the good things but it is worth the energy to seek them out when it presented with life’s challenges.  I am learning to hold the people close to me even closer and never lose sight of my dreams.  A good friend of mine helped me to see that even if we lose sight of our dreams, that which we wish for is always obtainable if we only believe in ourselves.